A little randomness from my side of the ocean

I've realized my blog has been sorely neglected.
Not so much that I've forgotten about it, but more that life has settled into a bit of a routine and once "adventurous overseas life" becomes "normal daily life" one forgets to take photos and document the extraordinary that is present in the ordinary day.

So, a few photos to keep you connected with life here:

Most of my life is still pretty much involved with studying the Bible and spending time with students...in this photo I am doing both. We had a pretty intense religious festival where I live so some of us hopped on the train and went into the city (where firecrackers are banned!) and had a quiet study day at Starbucks. I'm working on preparing to teach the book of Exodus the end of July.

I've had a few random adventures around the city of Taipei with friends including a sleepover at a Taiwanese friend's house before she moves to America. It was a fantastic evening of great fellowship and at church the next day we were all prayed over by the pastors. It was a huge blessing to have a Taiwanese pastor blessing me and my journey which has led me here to Taiwan for this season. So encouraging!

I continue to find random things here that make me smile from the crazy English phrases, dogs shaved in funky ways or riding on motos in various ways, or old men doing "exercises" up at the track by slapping themselves on the belly. I've grown to love Taiwan more and more and the daily parts of life usually put a smile on my face. And as hard as they try at English, I'm definitely feeling a push to put more effort into some basic conversational Chinese...hopefully next quarter.

And as always there are food adventures to be had and new things to try! Some new samplings this month is that I've gotten more bold with seafood, I've found out I really enjoy the coconut-pineapple jelly bits they put in the bottom of the drinks here, sampled some marinated squid and am continually trying new drinks at the tea shop. I'm looking forward to more adventures when my dad and grandma arrive in just TWO DAYS!

Teaching, teaching and more teaching....

I realized I have a severe lack of photos, especially of myself. Much has been happening and I need to be more intentional to take some photos so I can let people in on a bit of my life. So, hopefully this little update can paint some pictures with my words.

SBS is proving to be a busy and full season of life. Before staff training things started picking up speed, getting my book ready to teach, getting settled in my house and anticipating a pretty busy schedule. Then staff training and then the students arrived and it was full speed ahead. SBS was busy but my responsibilities were limited to one thing: my studies. Now, my responsibilities are many between preparing for teaching, grading students' work, meeting with a small group of girls once a week, meeting one-on-one with students, handing back work and helping answer questions. Then I'm also in charge of the students work duty schedules and also have my hand pretty heavily in the students' visa process which this year is turning out to be quite complicated and time-consuming. I'm also involved with ministry here at our coffee bar once a week.

Last Friday I taught the book of Psalms! :) I struggled with this book a lot during my own school, I think just finding time to meditate and pray, using that portion of scripture as it was originally intended and instead focused on it as an academic exercise. So, my study and prep time really redeemed that book. I fell in love with the Psalms and am amazed at how much of the Character and Nature of God is in that book and it made me fall more in love with God as well.

Earlier last week I also was able to share for an hour on pioneering and the cost of missions during the teaching on the book of Acts. This hour blew me away! The night before I was going over my notes and it just felt dry and insignificant. I was a bit discouraged. That morning the other staff member who was teaching Acts and I sat and prayed and were both saying that we really wanted the students to grasp this book with their hearts and not just their minds. Well, God really moved during that hour and challenged students in areas of their calling to missions and their heart for the lost. I got a lot of feedback from that time and saw the students go out and share the gospel with others in Taiwan. Talk about having the fear of the Lord that day....I can't believe how privileged I am to be able to teach and speak into these young people's lives, to know that God is raising up others to go into the nations and I get to be a part of his plan.

....as a side note, there are a number of students who have a heart for the Mus.im world and we have been having some good conversations about it. I can see through these connections that it is no accident we are all here together. I'm holding my hands open and have been sensing some things in prayer but will have to keep you posted as to how this unfolds and the details later. :)

This week I also got the opportunity to lead Bible study in the DTS and will do that for two more weeks as well. I'm going through the book of 2 Timothy with them. And on Thursday evenings I work at the coffeeshop that we run here and will be helping lead the advanced English class also. We had an interesting discussion this week in light of OBL's capture and had a very animated and lively discussion on the role of religion in a nation. There are a few Christians in that class but most of the students are Buddhist. Please pray for the friendships and relationships I've been invested in there!

And finally, we had a staff conference this last weekend and a few of our Taiwanese staff were ordained. We also spent a great weekend together just fellowshipping, praying and hearing how things are moving here in this country. As I saw these amazing men and women being prayed over and commissioned out, I was so overcome by how blessed I am to be here and learning from and growing with these amazing people. I am seeing this season is a refining one and one that is going to build into wherever God takes me in the years ahead.

And to let you all know....I found out my other books I'm teaching this year: Exodus (2nd quarter) and Jeremiah (3rd quarter)!!!! I'm SO excited to study and teach both of these books!

An Unexpected Peace

So, Asia has a LOT of people. And I live in a bustling Asian city. Not only that, but it is a tourist city so on the weekends when the sun is out the streets are packed, the restaurants are full, the traffic is nearly driving over my toes and humanity is EV.RY.WHERE!

A typical street scene on the weekends:

Yesterday I ventured into Taipei to restock some knitting supplies (I know, I'm a nerd) and I had planned to sit in a coffeeshop and work on grading. After looking in 4 different coffee shops and not finding a single table to sit at, I decided I would get on the train, head back towards my city, but get off at another stop and work there. Same thing. No room. People ALL OVER!

By this time, I was crabby. I wanted some space. I wanted people to stop bumping into me. And I wanted my own seat on the train rather than elbowing for my own little plastic handle to hang on to. I arrived back in Dan Shui, went to a coffee shop near the train station and worked my butt off the rest of the evening. I walked home, ready for rest and rejuvenation, when I find there is a crew of workers on a street opposite my house that are repaving the road....ALL.NIGHT.LONG.

Now, normally, I'm pretty extroverted. And after living in Asia for five years, my need for personal space and time has adapted to the culture and I find I'm much more flexible. But, I seemed to just reach my limit. I woke up this morning after finally falling asleep around 4am cuz the trucks got a bit quieter (oh yeah...and they were directing traffic all night with the aid and use of a WHISTLE! gah!) but I was just so tired and wanted to not face masses of humanity. The sun was shining and I really wanted to go for a walk or to the beach but just couldn't handle the crowds. So, I decided to go for a walk but head towards where I knew were some quieter neighborhoods. I walked, and walked and walked and soon enough....this is where I'm at:

Maybe you're thinking, "Wait, there's nothing there" and to that I answer....exactly! I was so overjoyed and had a great time just praying and thanking God for living in Taiwan, remembering what Easter is all about that the death and resurrection of Christ is for these masses of humanity. I walked back home with a smile on my face...and so blessed by the beauty around me:

I'm so thankful that God knows my heart, knows just how to fill me up when I feel so depleted, speaks my love language of beauty and the outdoors! Now I'm ready to spend the evening hanging out with people again!

The Fullness of Time

Today we received the final government letter that we have been waiting on so that 50 people can get their visas for Taiwan. I am so excited about this as we've been praying and waiting and I've formed about 100 different "contingency plans" of what to do with the students who are waiting on this letter...one of our students is on a visa where she can only be in the country 2 weeks at a time and has to go in and out every 2 weeks until this letter arrives. I've been thinking about this letter quite a bit. And today, the glorious news that it has arrived...there is still more work until the students have their actual visas in hand, but the rest of the process is possible, until this letter arrived we were staring at impossible.

But with all of this, I've been thinking about God's timing. In both Galatians (4:4) and Ephesians (1: 10) Paul uses this phrase "fullness of time" when he's talking about the coming of Jesus. When you think about it, from the time that Adam and Eve sinned to the time the Messiah and the promised redeemer finally arrived on the scene, that was thousands of years. And yet, it was at just the right time, not too late, not too early but in time's fullness, according to God's plan.

I know that God does things for a reason and I know he's trustworthy, but in our "instant" society when we can get anything we want when we want it with credit cards, microwaves, internet, etc. I forget this aspect of God in my impatience and my selfishness. God's timing is for our good. And it is always right.

Waiting is the test of trust...those amazing truths that I know with my brain, does my anxious heart also know it when the stress level rises? The lesson that I've learned in this whole process with visas on the base is seeing once again that God never lies and he is faithful. When we received the first news that visas had been denied and the base had a day of prayer and fasting, the overwhelming message was that we were to move forward and God was going to be faithful to us. We weren't even sure if having an SBS is possible...but NOT ONE of the students walked away because of visa complications.

Then came the news that the visas were approved (Yeah!) shortly followed by the news that we couldn't get the government letter because of some issues on the government side. In all of this, I kept thinking about what God had promised....we have 57 students in Taiwan with hearts wide open to know God and his word more. He is good. He is faithful. And his timing is always right.

I find it ironic (or just the way of God) that the first approval news came the day before SBS started. Now, this letter went through the DAY that the students were buying tickets for their first visa renewal run to Hong Kong (some are only on 30 day landing visas, waiting for this letter). To me, God was clearly speaking that though there may be a time of waiting, he does not fail and he will always come through.

Dependence upon God and trust in his ways is something that I think is always a challenge when I have my eyes fixed on the circumstances. I've been thinking about that letter a lot, but only when I fixed my eyes on God did my heart find peace.

These visas have been so much work and have taken control of large portions of my day. But the lesson God is teaching me and being on this journey of faith is invaluable.

God is faithful and he is trustworthy...his plans come in the fullness of time.

Staffing SBS begins

SBS 2011 in Taiwan began a week and a half ago.

I'm feeling so blessed to be here. It has been an incredibly busy season, for sure. The students began arriving so there have been new faces to see and people to get to know. I've been thanking God I'm a bit of an extorvert so I've been getting energy from hanging out with new people and learning their stories. It's a bit overshelming because there are 57 students in the class, plus the above pictured 25 staff members (one is missing in the photo), so there are lots of relationships to invest in.

I have a lovely group of three women who are in the small group I'm leading.
And then every three weeks I have three students whose work I'll be checking and this also gives me the opportunity to get to know them a bit as well.

I have to admit, it's been a bit strange to transition back to being a staff member. I was rather enjoying my season of being a student and just being a sponge. At the same time, I feel parts of me lay dormant last year and I'm excited to be utilizing my gifts.

One area of that is teaching!! I will be teaching the book of Psalms this quarter at the end of April--it's only one day of teaching for three hours, but the preparation has been so rewarding. Ashamedly, I really slacked in my study of the Psalms during my school. So, this has more than made up for it. I think one of the biggest highlights has been seeing who God is in the Psalms...time and time again his character and nature is praised, affirmed, repeated. If you close the book of Psalms without knowing God more, you've missed the message.

I also taught Figures of Speech this morning (See...you can use an English Literature degree in missions!!) and I'll be sharing some Bible teaching with the DTS as well in May. So, I've got some great teaching opportunities. I'm really hoping that I can make some trips outside of Taiwan and teach in some other schools as well this year.

The visa drama continues as our visas nearly were ready to go through but they got submitted wrongly (not our fault) so we are waiting on the correction to be made to see the final push through. This is especially important because a number of our students are having to leave the country repeatedly until this goes through and they can switch their visas over to their resident visas. Lots of info...for me it just means some long hours and helping students think ahead for their visas until this thing gets sorted out. I'm going to have a major party when everyone's visas come through and are in their passports, finally!

Taiwan springtime has been lovely. I spent my Sabbath this week laying on the beach soaking up the sun. I heard snow was falling in MN this week so I was very, very thankful. I'm also back out running again....cuz I want to try to run the FULL MARATHON in December this year. So, I'm getting back into the swing of running and realizing what three months of slacking can do to help you fall out of shape again!

There's no minute like the last minute!!

Great news friends.....

WE GOT OUR VISAS ISSUED!!!!!

50 visas got approved and issued after nearly four months of struggle and difficulty. This is a very, very, very good thing. The crazy thing is we got the news this morning and SBS starts tomorrow. We have 60 new students who arrived not knowing if they would have a visa for the entire time, many of them budgeting to fly out of the country multiple times but all coming in faith because we believed that what God said to us, he was going to do.

Wow....what a way to start a school, with the favor of God and a miracle for us all to experience!!

We dive in tomorrow morning. I'm super, super excited. This school is full of students who feel they have a long-term calling to missions and God has shown me that my presence in this school and these particular students are not an accident. I want to be a part of seeing people walking out that calling, no matter how costly or difficult it may seem. We have a great staff team and we've enjoyed getting to know one another during out staff training time.

So.....here we go!!!

An ever-expanding heart

The above two pictures represent what is going on in my heart these days. The first are the mountains of Afghanistan and Tajikistan. I climbed this mountain one day and just had a sense of worship and thankfulness as I stood on that mountain and gazed at the rugged landscape around me. The land was harsh and a bit uninviting, but it had become home to me. I love the people. I love the smell of the kababs on the street and the taste of green tea at a good friend's house. The language just feels good in my mouth now where at one time it was like spitting out cotton balls. My prayers and tears have soaked into that land.

Now I find myself physically in Taiwan, a much different country. (the second picture above) I have an apartment surrounded by busy city streets. People around me are constantly on the internet on their phones. I'm surrounded by temples and parades in which the people carry their idols down the streets. I wear shorts in the summer and I have the freedom to go for a run or sit at a coffeeshop and study. My local friends are dealing with issues about dating and getting a good job rather than will my family let me go to school or will our family have enough money to heat the house all winter or will one of the daughters get married off to pay for fuel.

It's a different world.
And yet, each has been home in that season.
I am called to be where I am at.

Yet, my heart really misses Central Asia. I know that much of who I am now is tied to that place. My heart is forever connected. This year, I am called to staff SBS and teach and grow in teaching. I know this is the season. There will be students to disciple, friends to be made, and people with whom I get to share the gospel of who Jesus is.

But, my heart is constantly pulled toward the Muslim world, especially central Asia. I have been encouraged to be totally 100% focused on where I am, and I believe I am doing that as best I can. God is ever increasing my heart for the people of Taiwan and I have been so blessed to see the beauty of this culture, to see how God is moving here and get a vision for the future of this nation and people. What a privilege to know God's heart for people and be a part of it!

So, for now, I keep these pictures both in my heart. I have truly become a citizen of nowhere and where I put my feet, there is home for that moment. My journey continues and I really am not sure where it's leading come December 2011 (when my visa expires). There are many options. So for now I invest where I'm at. I hope those of you who are interested and invested in my journey (supporters, friends, family, people who read my blog and updates and think of me) will just pray that I'd follow the one who is walking the journey ahead of me. I don't want to just figure out the next step of my life plan, but rather, I want to follow the one who has authored it.

31 Years of LIFE!

Maybe I'm an oddity in life, but I have really enjoyed turning thirty and now being "in my thirties." There was no dramatic emotion that came with the number. In fact, I have enjoyed looking back and seeing so much of the great things I've been blessed with in my life.

God has truly blessed me. I was no one of significance in the world's eyes. I come from a small town, a family that struggled financially my growing up years, none of us held important high-profile positions or were super-educated. And yet, this family molded me, taught me the things in my life that have made me the woman I am today. Material possessions were never of utmost importance, I was told I could be and do anything I put my mind to, and my grandma brought me to church and introduced me to the God that I now serve with my life and being. Despite struggles and even tragedies, my family still remains close and cares for one another to the best of our abilities. They have never been an opposition to the choices I've made with my life, even when it meant moving to a war-zone. I am an incredibly blessed woman.



And being the incredible processor that I am, I always come upon milestones (New Years, the end of an event, Birthdays, holidays and anniversaries) and love to dream about what is ahead....what am I running towards? When I celebrate 41 (hopefully with as much thankfulness as my thirties have ushered in) what will the next ten years between now and then hold? Can it top the last 10 years? It will be difficult to beat...graduation from college and later grad school, joining an organization that seems to release and encourage the gifts and identity God has knit within me, living in Asia for now five years, training teachers, raising up leaders, venturing to places most Americans have never seen, visiting now 28 nations, investing in hundreds of friendships, laughing until my gut has hurt and crying until I had no tears left to cry. Adventure, passion, joy, frustration, friends and confrontations, character refinement, faith, and healing. Man, God has been so GOOD!!! Some of the best gifts of these last years is seeing people come from death into life, from lostness into being found by their God, from feeling alienated from God, to belonging to his family and being able to be a small part of their journey with God.



So, as I begin a new year of life, with ever-deeping friendships, hand-in-hand with a God who loves me so much it hurts and armed with all my life experiences already, I don't want to ever settle for less than God's highest. I want to live life with abandon and not be held by fear of man, not to be boxed in by others' expectations of me, or even my expectations of myself.

Take my life Lord, it's yours...whether the years ahead are few or many, joyful or painful, on the mountain or in the valley, as long as I'm with you it's going to be the ride of a lifetime!

Friendship with the Lord

I found this verse tucked away in the Psalms during my study time yesterday:

The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.
Psalm 25:14

The verb here "to make known" is to know by seeing it, almost experientially. So, the covenant that God has made known to us is ultimately made known in Jesus. Because God has kept all his promises, I have friendship with the Lord. What an amazing thing. May I be a woman who fears the Lord and knows his friendship.

Just a tidbit.
I'm loving my study times.

New Year Hotpot

新年快樂!!
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

This year was my first year celebrating Chinese New Year. If I wanted, I could celebrate the New Year three times this year: the traditional Jan 1 new year, Chinese New Year (Feb. 3), and the Afghan New Year on March 21. That's just a whole lot of newness and fresh starts!


One thing that is a regular part of the celebrations here in Taiwan is what is called hotpot. Basically, it's just a bunch of vegetables and meat thrown into a pot and cooked. There are some special sauces you eat with it and it's Oh-so-good! A friend of mine who did the SBS with me invited myself and some other friends from church to have hotpot together. So, here's some photos to get you in on the action (which is a step towards one of my new years resolutions: take more photos!)

You start with a little bit of these....various forms of pork, fish, crab, tofu, along with some veggies


And you cook it together in a pot.....voila, hotpot!


The thing that after living now five years in Asia (!!) that I so appreciate, is much of life is done to encourage community and friendship. Things are done so that the whole group can be a part of it. I'm still a western individualist at heart, but I'm enjoying community to its fullest. I'm so thankful for the friendships in my life here:

me and Zoie...we both did SBS together and lived together


Friends from California, Panama and Taiwan (respectively). Wendy and I also did the SBS and lived together last year.


A good friend and now fellow staff, Charis.

Teaching prep

I had a conversation with a 30-something friend of mine about how we were feeling that when we turned thirty that was when we were living more out of who we are and not just wandering around trying to figure ourselves out. But, I'm still shocked to find that I've existed on this planet for almost 31 years and I'm still figuring out who I am. I bet that will be a life-long journey.

I have three weeks here in Taiwan with a pretty open schedule. I have this continued tension of hating routine and every moment of my life planned but I'm also realizing that if I don't have at least a little bit of structure, I get lazy and waste time and procrastinate so easily. So, I had this "game plan" for coming back that I'd write a list of goals that i'd like to accomplish (to feed that need to achieve something every day that is within me) but I have managed to stay true to that list only periodically. Sigh. I envy people who are disciplined and structured within themselves.

So, I'm trying my hardest to sit myself down and get my teaching prepared, but also enjoying the time I get to hang out with friends and next week getting to experience my first ever Chinese New Year and celebrate my birthday!

I'm teaching the book of Psalms in our first quarter here. As I've been studying (when I actually do sit down and study), I've been struck by the thought of how relevant our emotions are to God. The psalms just explode with every kind of emotion which are all raw and exposed before the Lord. We get the privilege to glimpse into someone's intimate conversations with God...but every time there is sorrow or anger, it usually moves towards worship and praise. Even what we perceive as the "bad" emotions can be used to lead us to worship the Lord. And the Psalms were used in public worship....and in our culture today I feel like the pendulum of emotions in public worship swings two ways. I've seen the extreme emotionalism where people don't think the Holy Spirit is among them unless there is weeping or hysterical laughter. The emotion is more important than the object of worship. But there is also stoicism where emotions are seen as a sign of weakness and a lack of spiritual maturity. The Psalms give us a great balance of truth and the human expression of our emotions.

So, I'm pressing on. There is lots to think about. How do you pack the entire book of Psalms into 3 hours of teaching? But, I'm enjoying the journey and hopefully I can share some of my insights as I prepare with you who take the time to read my blog from time to time (thanks by the way! I'm honored you're here.)

"Home"

I made it back to Taiwan two nights ago. I had to return early from my vacation in Minnesota because I had some issues with my visa that couldn't be taken care of in the US. So, I made the flight back and headed into the Foreign affairs office yesterday in Taipei. And thankfully, that is finished and I can work into settling into my new apartment here in Dan Shui.

I always find the trips back and forth across the ocean a crazy mix of emotions. There are many books on the experience of missionaries returning to their home lands, and I watch so many students go through it after they finish a training school with YWAM.

It's a strange feeling to return to a place that you once labeled as home, and sometimes still do, but the feelings and experiences of "Home" are so entirely different. I am actually a visitor to home. Everyone else has their own schedules, their own space and their own stories they are living out. I am jumping into their schedules, space and story and there are moments where I wonder how mine fits in to that place. We talk about old memories we have, from when my life was more integrated with theirs. We update on how things are going giving the broad overview of life and not having time to go super deep unless we intentionally take it. I have to repeatedly answer questions about if I have a boyfriend or not, feeling slightly like a teenager and a little bit like a spinster. ha ha!

It's a strange transition. And it always leads me to ask the question, "where do I belong?" I am no longer American in the traditional sense. I look less and less like what is expected of a 30 (soon to be 31!) year old with a Masters Degree and work experience. Questions that are normal to answer--"what's your home address?" "What's your phone number" have multiple answers for me and long explanations. I don't belong in America. And I am living in Taiwan currently, but I am definitely a foreigner here. I have a piece of Afghanistan within me, but that's not home either.

I am a student and a teacher of the Bible, so my thoughts continually go back to God's story. And it feels a bit like a cliche to say that "this world is not our home." But, this experience into missions has made that cliche very much a truth and reality to my heart. This morning I was reading from Psalms (which I will be teaching the first quarter of the School of Biblical Studies here in Taiwan) and Psalm 84 has a familiar verse: "How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord..." I think my soul is fainting for the courts of the Lord these days. The temple for the people of the OT was the place where God's presence dwells among men. Today we have the Holy Spirit and yet we live in a now but not yet tension of knowing that the fullness of living in God's presence will be realized in our heavenly home.

So all this rambling to say, I'm thankful that I don't belong. It is in the longing to belong that I meet with my true place of belonging, at home with the Lord. The longing is an ever-present reminder that there is nothing in this world that can bring absolute fulfillment.

I'm "home" in my new apartment, but this place will fade. I'll move somewhere else, people and friends come and go in and out of my life. I am loved by those near and far but my true home awaits.

Unto us a Child is Born

In my School of Biblical Studies, we finished with the book of Matthew. Prior to that, we had spent 6 months going through the Old Testament. The book of Matthew is FILLED with Old Testament scriptures and prophecies that are fulfilled through the coming of Jesus. Many times studying the Old Testament I had moments where I thought, "Man, I miss Jesus!"...then we'd study passages in places like Isaiah and he seemed to jump out of the pages. All of the OT is in anticipation of Jesus.

The Christmas story is something that we can dull our hearts to. I know I have. This year it took on a new reality. When I was finishing my school, we read the book of Matthew outloud and i got to chapter four when it says Jesus went out preaching "Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand." I used to listen to that phrase as a harsh statement kind of like that "turn and burn" type preaching. But as I read this outloud this time, tears welled up in my eyes. The kingdom of God was made available because Jesus came as human being. Until then, it was a shadow, it was a distant reality and something that men fell into sin because of their impatience to wait for it and hope for it.

The kingdom of God, the place of acceptance and love and hope and peace, it's available only because the supreme ruler, creator and magnificent and all powerful God of the universe became a child. He suffered human maladies, limited himself to the human body and experience, and suffered death and rejection by the very people he came to save.

Christmas...what a beautiful event. Our God, became one of us, so that we could be with him. Such a simple truth, and yet such a profound one. I hope each one of you takes a moment to meditate on the meaning of this holiday and the implications for your own life. Allow truth be be profound in your own life and stir your heart.

Running the Race with Endurance

Well, it's been awhile hasn't it?

Sadly, the prophets never made it to my blog. This season of life studying the Bible went by faster than I anticipated. I savored every minute, but many of those minutes didn't make it to blog-land.

Much of that is because these last few months, my extra time was spent training for the Taipei half-marathon which I just ran on Sunday, Dec. 19, two days after I finished SBS and the day before I flew back to the US for Christmas.

I only started running in January of this year. My exercise routine in Afghanistan consisted of pacing my courtyard, jumping rope, and workout videos. When I hopped on the treadmill at the gym in January I could barely run 5 minutes at a time without needing to stop. On Sunday I ran 13.1 miles in 2:38:12--not a super fantastic time, but my Personal Record considering it was my first half-marathon.

But, this time training for my marathon has really got me thinking about some things and I feel it parallels the life lessons I've been learning throughout SBS. Hebrews says it this way:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb. 12:1-2 emphasis mine)

If I had just shown up at the race without training, I never would have crossed that finish line. If I had not started out slow, I would not have had the endurance to push through the 13.1 miles. I've been thinking about this concept of endurance. I believe I hadn't taken endurance into account in my Christian life, in missions and just in my personal well-being. I beat my body and my soul into the ground very quickly over the last few years. And I've been having to make choices and alter my lifestyle to live in a way that runs with endurance. I think too often we can tackle things as if they were a sprint--"I'm gonna get up at 5 am EVERY MORNING and pray for 2 hours." "I'm gonna lead this outreach team without taking a break because if I don't people are dying and going to hell" "I'm going to say yes to this ministry or this commitment because no one else is doing it and I want to serve others. It doesn't matter I'm already struggling to keep up with what I'm doing."

One thing that really struck me is that in training and building to endurance in running, the rest days are just as important as the days of 10 mile long runs. Without the rest days, the muscles don't get a chance to recover and remain weak and could even lead to injury. I believe this is the way God wants us to live our lives. This is why he was adamant about Sabbaths for the people, for the animals, and even the land in the OT. God designed us to rest, so that we could run further and faster.



The half-marathon was an epic way to finish SBS. For the past four years that I was unable to really run, it was freedom to me, both body and soul. For the physical discipline I was able to commit to during hours of study during SBS it was a life saver. And for the ways that God spoke to me, it was a priceless experience. Plus, I accomplished something that less than a year ago seemed like an impossibility.....and I'm even contemplating a FULL marathon this next year.

So, keep running....but with endurance. Take your rest days, slowly build up the miles, don't expect something out of yourself that you just can't deliver on, but don't give up...you may be able to do it in the future. And in our spiritual journeys, God wants people who will endure, who are committed to the long-haul, who will put in the early hours and the long distances so that when race day comes you can run with a smile on your face.

Wisdom Literature, part 2

The Bible journey continues and the path that leads through the wisdom literature has challenged me and refreshed me all at the same time. So, I'll update you on the highlights of this last week:

Song of Songs
he he,
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, let me just say. It's one that we don't tackle too much because of the nature of its writing. It's either awkward and embarrassing or we over-spiritualize it. There are a lot of differring view points on the interpretation of this book. Is it talking about a relationship between a man and a woman, or between Christ and the church? There is a lot happening in the church and the 24/7 prayer movement around the world that takes a particular stand on the issue. I listened to some of the music coming out of that movement while I charted (aka...studied and interpreted) this book...it made for some interesting thought processes as I looked at the text and what I believe it is saying.

One thing I've ALWAYS struggled with is that this book is credited to being written by Solomon. How can a man who had 700 wives and 300 concubines be the authority on relationships and love? How can God use him as an example, especially when he led the entire nation of Israel into a downward spiral of idolatry because of his wives? (see 1 Kings 11 for more on that). After studying this book, I can say with near absolute certainty, I don't think Solomon wrote it.

And I can also say with near absolute certainty, I don't think this was intended to be interpreted as Christ and the church. (gasp!) (The intent of this post is not to theologically defend this position, though if you're interested in further conversation on this, I'd be up for that dialogue). This is a documentation of a relationship of commitment and a example of marriage, fidelity and healthy sexuality that stood in opposition to the immorality and the extravagance of Solomon's lifestyle choices.

As an area that spoke to me personally, in Songs 8:8-10 the woman's friends are questioning her what to do with their sister who has not reached puberty yet. How do they help her when she begins a relationship? The conclusion is if she guards herself (is a wall) then they will encourage her. If she however is loose morally (a door) they will lock her up and guard her for themselves. The woman's response is the following:
"I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace."
So, she's saying that she guarded herself as a grown woman and it brought peace to her marriage. That to me was an encouragement in my own lifestyle choices. I don't throw myself on every man that crosses my path. I don't flirt for fun. I guard my heart....but that means i will have a peaceful marriage in the future. A man will not doubt my commitment to him some day.

This is a book worthy of study and contemplation on an area that sometimes the church is really silent about but the world speaks so loudly to us, our sexuality. We should be asking God for his highest in this area.

Ecclesiastes
This is a book I'd like to spend more time thinking through. It is quite an interesting read and I admit, I'd love to sit down with someone who was not a Christian, who was maybe agnostic or a bit a of a skeptic, and just ask them about this book. This book views life through an earthly viewpoint--seeing the meaninglessness of daily life and the futility of all human effort because we all end up in the same plight--dead. And yet there is a hope that is woven throughout the book that God is bigger than the hopelessness of this world and one's greatest way of living is to fear God. There is a balance of good and bad in life. All are part of the human experience and we aren't to run away from any of it. But, neither are we to find life's greatest meaning there. We studied through this book quickly and this is a book that needs some more thought and meditation. I hope to come back to it after SBS and think more on it.

and now...the prophets
The prophets are the part of the Bible I think I could tell you the least about before I started SBS. We are finishing the rest of the school with them and then capping it off with Matthew (we begin and end with Jesus). So, I hope to have some great revelation and understanding over the next few months. Stick around....

Wisdom Literature

Well, break is over.
And we're back into the swing of things. Third quarter had begun and the next break I get will be graduation from SBS. Hard to believe it's going by so fast.

This week and next we have the privilege of Ron and Judy Smith teaching the OT wisdom literature: Proverbs, Job, Song of Songs, and Ecclesiastes. They are the founders of SBS and very wise people themselves.

Proverbs
The proverbs assignment was so enjoyable. I was so amazed at how much great stuff is in this book. We picked four themes of the proverbs and then assembled all the proverbs related to that theme from the book. I've always intended to do something like that out of the book, but now I actually had the time. I encourage you to do that if you are able. One of the themes I looked at was the fear of the Lord. I am realizing now how much of the Christian life requires the fear of the Lord. And wisdom is not something you get without it. Another thing I was challenged by in this book is that it repeatedly says "Get wisdom." I always viewed wisdom as something that passively happens to you as you experience life and learn from those experiences. But, Proverbs says that we must work to get wisdom....we cultivate the fear of the Lord, we put ourselves around wise people, and we do humbly but actively learn from our experiences. I want to make it a life journey to get wisdom.

Job
What an intense book....the great OT book on suffering. Though, I'm realizing how much Job is also about wisdom. Job demonstrates the failure of human wisdom in the face of suffering and in comparison to the wisdom and sovereignty of God. When we did our first outloud read through of this book and I had listened to Job's friends repeatedly trying to get Job to repent from some great sin he had committed so it would alleviate his suffering, and listened to Job cry out to God asking why wasn't he answering him, when God finally answers, I nearly wanted to cry. God's answer is essentially was "Job, who are you? And who am I?" And I believe this is the great fundamental question of human existence....who are we? And who is God? And when those two things get put into perspective....worship is the response.

I was greatly challenged by Job in the midst of my own grieving and suffering over the last few years...and seeing more of the reality of human suffering in general. Our God is great. And we are small. And there is so much in life we don't understand.

So, next week we are diving into Song of Songs and Ecclesiastes. I'm sure it will make for some interesting discussions with my fellow classmates!
And as promised, a few select photos from the last few weeks of my time in Taiwan:
With a friend visiting the National Palace Museum


Mmmmmm....fresh grilled squid anyone?


A peek inside a temple as I walked by. It's been interesting going from an Islamic culture to a Buddhist/Daoist one. There is definitely so much to learn and understand here. But, bottom line is, we are all looking for something/someone to worship.



A gorgeous sunset at a beach party over the break. This was also during the Moon Festival so after the sun set, people lit tons of red lanterns and set them floating off over the ocean. This was probably one of my favorite evenings of the break. I'm so thankful to be experiencing so much beauty.

A break in the kingdom...and a break in SBS

Whew!
I can't begin to describe the state of exhaustion I was in when I handed in my work for 1&2 Chronicles and made my way to a local restaurant for a celebratory burger with some friends. SBS is 2/3 finished and we've made it through history to the fall of Israel and Judah into exile.

I've been fascinated that even though I've read through the Bible a few times before, there's still more and more that I am discovering I never knew. The kings were a fascinating study....what I'm realizing over and over in the Old Testament is that God is faithful to his promises, men are not, and yet God shows them his mercy. That, in a sentence is what really stands out to me.

And I used to look at the Old Testament and deep down in my heart I thought, wow, God's kind of vindictive and mean. He lays out rules and then punishes people for breaking them. But I'm realizing, especially since the book of Deuteronomy that God is like a parent...he gives people the option to choose the higher way. He puts structure and rules in place for our good. He punishes people when they disobey, for their good and they should know the good way to live. God gives us choice, and depending on our choices, God either disciplines us or blesses us. We would call this good parenting, and I don't know why we fault God for this. My view of the character of God is definitely deepening.

BREAK TIME
Our break started out with a typhoon here. I have never experienced one before so it was a new experience. The whole city shut down and there weren't many people to be found on the streets. In Asia, that makes it feel like a ghost town outside! Some of us decided to make paper airplanes and shoot them off the roof of our seventh floor apartment in the middle of the gusts of wind. I have never enjoyed paper airplanes so much!! Some of them we watched fly around for literally a few minutes. Amazing!

I was so tired, I've spent most of the last week sleeping, reading, knitting (I found a craft store in Taipei!!!!!) and enjoying friends here in small groups. Last break we did so much stuff in large groups that I was exhausted by the time class started again. Tomorrow morning we will be diving into Proverbs and I feel much more refreshed.

I hope to post some photos from our evening last night when we honored our SBS staff. It was such a delightful time....and a great excuse to dress up and look great! I MC'd the evening so didn't take may photos myself. So, when I steal some from friends, I'll post them.

900 years of the history of Israel

Yesterday I woke up at 6am, made breakfast and my standard french press of coffee. Then I made my way to Starbucks, opened up my computer and my Bible, drank yet more coffee and made my way through most of the book of 2 Kings over the next twelve hours. I find on days like yesterday, I finally wind down the work and walk away with what I am sure is a scientific term: SBS coma. Wow. it takes about an hour or so to snap back to reality and have a conversation with real human beings.

This next week we will finish the book of Chronicles so since I last posted, the Israelites have just made it in the promised land, they did a lot of really stupid things and turned away from the Lord again and again in the book of Judges. Ruth shines as a bright light in the midst of the Judges and leads us to King David who appears on the scene in 1&2 Samuel and then everyone who comes after him is measured up to his standard (and fails) throughout the times of the kings of Israel and Judah. So there is about 900 years of the history of Israel in just over 3 weeks. Whew.

So, in effort to keep up with writing about the books I'm studying, here we go.....
Judges
This was quite the difficult book. At the end of it I just felt....well, really sad. Joshua was such a book of hope and promise and it all comes crashing down in Judges. There are some decent people that God uses (aka Deborah) but then you have some real characters like Samson who you just want to smack across the face and tell him to take a cold shower! What struck me is that Judges reveals the real side of humanity. Without the grace of God, without his standard of goodness and his moral law, humanity would spiral further and further into its own sin. The Bible has caused me to see how prone to sin humanity is, and then I turn that mirror upon myself and realize, yep. That's me too. It's been a good reality to face because a lot of times I think I'm pretty awesome. So, to bring some good ol' embarrassment into my life, I thought I'd also post the skit that my group did for the book of Judges. We got assigned our classmates and portions of scripture and my group ended up with Deborah....guess how played Deborah?

Ruth
The book of Ruth occurs during the time of the Judges. When humanity is wrecking havoc in their own sin, Ruth and Boaz and Naomi arise as a bit of a light in the darkness. An interesting study for you if you are so inclined is to look at the character traits of all three, a little character study if you will. And Ruth shows how the line of David came....which as we all know, is also the line of Jesus.

1&2 Samuel
We study these as one book because they were written as one book, just divided on two scrolls, when they were first written. Samuel focuses on the lives of Samuel, Saul and David, and then a bit on David's son Absalom (And as a side note, I'd recommend the book Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards for those of you who have not read it). A major contrast and lesson that runs through the book of Samuel is the fear of man vs. the fear of God. Saul embodies the fear of man, lives and even dies by it. David continues to walk in the fear of the Lord time and time again. Throughout this book, it held the mirror up to my own soul and I can see the fear of man so much in me. I make decisions based on what others think, I view myself in comparison to others, I like my strengths and try to hide my weaknesses. Saul peeled back a lot of my layers this week of study. Another thing I'm always impressed with in King David, is his willingness to bring people around him and to encourage them and see them grow into leaders. I get a kick out of the four hundred men who gather around him in a cave while he's on the run who are in distress, in debt, and bitter in soul in the cave of Adullam. Then at the end of Samuel you have a list of David's mighty men and their exploits and their bravery. God can use the least likely people to do some great things for the Lord. There is hope for all of us yet.

So, folks there you have it. I'll get to Kings and Chronicles next weekend when we begin our second break! I'm looking forward to some time to relax, hang out with friends, get some good nights of sleep in, and maybe try to see some new things, besides the classroom and my Bible, as thankful for both of those as I am.

Running through the wilderness

AH! life goes by so fast and you never know what one day will bring. I apologize for the email I sent to many promising a blog update on Leviticus a few weeks ago...but some events in life put blogging by the wayside. However, I wanted to take some time to sit down and update you on some continuing thoughts from the Pentatuech (the books of Moses: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) and Joshua.

Leviticus
I had no idea how deeply this book was going to shake me. When talking about Leviticus it is usually that boring book of sacrifices and laws; what can be so interesting about that? As we began this book, I realized I had to wrestle with some very foundational questions....Why is blood necessary for forgiveness of sins? (Heb. 9:22) Why did God put a sacrificial system in place that man has never been able to live up to? Why do the people need to put so much energy and focus into the tabernacle, why do the priests need to give their whole lives to burning animals and going through all these rituals? How does Jesus really fit with all of this? I have a bazillion and one sanitary Sunday school answers and things that I know Christians should say. But Leviticus halted me in my tracks and made me think, "hey wait a minute, why exactly was Jesus the only way to God and the only thing that brings forgiveness of sins?" Now, before you think I've lost my salvation or turned my back on God, let me reassure you that I haven't....
And let me turn aside on a bit of a rabbit trail to encourage you if you are a Christian, to really think about why you believe what you believe. I really needed the foundations of my faith to be questioned to realize that they were secure. And people can smell a fake from a mile away. I can tell when people are just spitting out what someone else told them. This week in Leviticus, was surprisingly deep for my walk with the Lord.

Now, at risk of sounding too "Sunday school-ish" I realized this week that this whole system was put into place to show humanity that there is absolutely no way that we ourselves can attain holiness. When man sinned, the only remedy became the redemption through perfection, through Jesus. I don't understand fully why God put things into place that only he could fulfill in Christ. Why the cross? But, what I do know, is there is nothing righteous in me. There is no way I can attain any goodness or keep myself living a perfect life, free from sin. The sacrificial system exposes that...there are two sins that are to be offered for unintentional sins. We sin without intending it because that's what people do...our heart tends toward selfishness.

All of this is still stuff I'm processing and filling in my own theological gaps with truth as I continue to study. But here's what I do know after Leviticus: "I am a great sinner. Christ is a great savior." (John Newton)

Numbers
Numbers is often referred to as the "armpit of the Old Testament." I can definitely see how this is possible as the whole book deals with the constant rebellion of the people of Israel. They complain, they doubt God, they fight their leadership, they get themselves sentenced to forty years in the wilderness. But what makes this book like an armpit is the people; God is still the hero.

One thing that spoke to me out of Numbers was something that I saw in the character of God when I was in A-stan. In chapter 12 of Numbers, Miriam and Aaron grumble against Moses saying that God is playing favorites with him but they also are just as special as he is. They are jealous of him and want some credit for themselves. The great thing about this event is that Moses is silent through the entire chapter. God is the one who responds to the accusations and crappy attitude of Miriam and Aaron. He calls them to his presence in what I can picture a parent would do with a bunch of children bickering in front of them. And God speaks to Miriam and Aaron saying that Moses is faithful. God defends his reputation and shames them for questioning Moses' character.
---the reason this speaks to me is this was a lesson God so clearly challenged me on in Af. There were times when my character and integrity were in question as a leader and as an individual, some times by other teammates, and many times by locals around me that saw me through their worldview lenses. I am a single female away from my family. Through their eyes, my character is immediately in question. One day I came home to graffiti on my front door of a very inappropriate accusation. It had been there all day while people walked by reading it, knowing who lived inside. A dear man who is like a grandfather to me helped sand the word off my metal door. And I knew it hurt him as it hurt me that people would do something like this. But that day God spoke so clearly...my reputation was in his hands. He defends me and I don't have to defend myself. My job is to live for the Lord and if I am misunderstood, then I am misunderstood. If we spend our lives consumed with proving to other people our intentions, we are living in the fear of man and can become slaves to others' opinions. I hope I, like Moses, can live a life allowing God to be the defender of my character.

Deuteronomy
I won't say too much on this book. The week we worked on this book was a very intense week for me personally so I have to admit I wasn't able to focus too much. What I do love though is that you really get Moses' heart for the people he leads. He talks of interceding for the people time and time again after they rebelled in the wilderness, laying on his face for forty days and nights without food and water (Chapter 9). That was a great challenge to me to be interceding for others I lead. Moses' life has for a long time been a challenge and example to me. We did a character study of his life during this book that I hope to continue to grow and learn from.

Joshua
We just turned in the book of Joshua yesterday. What an amazing testimony of obedience to the word of God! Throughout the book God speaks something to Joshua and in the next sentence it says, "So Joshua told the people" or "So Joshua did as the Lord commanded." He feared the Lord even when God asked him to do things that seemed opposite to human logic....like circumcising all the men right after they entered into the land they were supposed to make war on (chapter 5). Or marching around a city just blowing trumpets (Jericho--6). Or turning back to fight against a city that they had just lost a battle to (Ai--chapter 8). God's faithfulness is so clear in this book: "not one word has failed of all the good things that the Lord your God promised concerning you." (23:14) And this same God is the same faithful God today. I was challenged as to how I fear the Lord and if I see him as a God who fulfills his promises and a God who is trustworthy. Do I live that way?

So....if you are still here with me to the end of this novel, bless you. I have great intentions to continue to blog but life sometimes takes over. This week I am apartment sitting for some friends so have been able to get by myself and take some more concentrated time to pray and process through things. This opportunity could not have come at a better time. Thanks to all of you who pray, support and love me. I need your friendship so dearly. It means so much to me!

The Old Testament begins!

We are into the Old Testament right now. I'm absolutely loving it and have had many moments already of exclaiming "Have I ever really read my Bible?"

So, let's get into it...
One thing I haven't really considered is that the Old Testament was also written for an original reader. With the New Testament, it's easier to keep in mind because you're reading actual letters from a person and for a person or people. We are diving into the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible, books that Moses wrote. He wrote these for the second generation of Israelites after they had left Egypt and before they entered the promised land. Moses documented their journeys and all that God had done as a reminder and an encouragement as they continue into the promised land without him.

But he is writing to a society that has come out of pagan religion in Egypt. He is showing over and over again how their God, their Yahweh is higher than any other god they have ever met.

Genesis
This book is full of stories that those of who grew up going to church have heard time and time again. But if you read through Genesis, it is also full of "adult" moments, sexuality gone wrong, rebellion, selfish-ambition and manipulation. I was struck again and again at how dysfunctional the patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob) were and how full of grace and mercy God is. One thing that struck me was the vow Jacob made to God after he had his awe-inspiring dream of the ladder going to heaven and the angels ascending and descending upon it. God had just spoken his promise of redemption to him that had originally been promised to Abraham, that he would make him a great nation and give him land. But Jacob has the audacity to tell God "If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God." (Genesis 28:20-21) This shows me the prosperity gospel is not something we invented in my generation. Jacob is saying "if you'll bless me and keep me comfortable, then I'll serve you." Well, we can look at Jacob and say "shame on you" but how often is this the way we approach God? God, if you take care of my family and give me a good job and a good church and keep my life pretty stable and comfortable, then I'll worship you with all I've got. One thing our teacher this week challenged us on was what would you do if God never blessed you again? Would you still serve him? Would he still be good? Would he still be your God? What a challenge! Do I serve God for what I get from him? Do I love God more than I love his promises?

Exodus
I have an affinity for Moses. From the first read-through we did of this book (we go through the book five times) I wanted to teach it next year! I love seeing Moses go from a blithering coward to being the leader of a nation of 2 million people, walking in the fear of the Lord. The biggest thing Moses' life speaks is that it doesn't matter what you think you can't do, God can use you. And, God refines those he calls.
One thing I was struck by was in the section on building the tabernacle. God asked everyone to bring a contribution towards the tabernacle from "whoever is of a generous heart" (Ex. 35:5) This section repeats the phrase "all who were of a willing heart" who gave towards the building. So, we see a great example of abundant generosity on the part of the Israelites. But additionally, these are people who are coming out of slavery. They had been made to build entire cities to store Pharaoh's wealth in egypt (Ex. 1:11). However, they are giving out of a willing heart and offering their own services willingly to build the tabernacle of God, the dwelling place of God. God doesn't make slaves of his followers but invites people with a willing heart to be a part of his purposes. So, this also is a hugely applicable point: Do I view God more as a slave-driver or do I give to him with a willing heart and participate in what he's doing with joy? Is God your task master or is his presence and dwelling place with you your delight?

And this week we are diving into Leviticus. Believe it or not, there's already so much I'm getting out of that book. Seeing how God desires that his people are set apart in a way that shows their God is different from all other gods is so important. I've been thinking a lot about atonement throughout the New Testament and why exactly it is that God requires blood in order for forgiveness (Heb. 9:22). As a Christian, I take this for granted, but I'm stepping back and asking okay, why is blood required for forgiveness of sins? Why couldn't there be any other way? What does true forgiveness mean? What does it mean to be atoned?

Gah...Isn't Bible study amazing?! For years, I deep down found the Bible a bit dry and too full of rules and strange things that seemed a bit irrelevant. I've grown in my hunger and understanding of the word over the years, but this season is like a Bible dessert buffet. I just can't stop....it's all so good. I just want to eat and eat until I explode! The word of God is a treasure truly to be delighted in and savored!

So, I'll leave you with a few pictures from my every-day life:
This first one is a breakfast place a block from my apartment. This lady makes amazing dam bing which is a homemade dough she rolls out and cooks on the grill pictured along with an egg and green onion. Then you drizzle this brown thick soy-sauce like substance on top and you have a FANTASTIC breakfast for a mere $0.60. I spoke my first full sentence in Chinese to this woman: I want one dam bing. :)

And this photo is of my small group on a study day we recently had during the book of Genesis at Starbucks. In a school of 50 students, it's nice to be able to have a small group to meet with, pray for one another, share a bit of our lives and what God is teaching us in this season. I've grown to love and appreciate each of these ladies so much!