Last week I walked to my tailor to bring some new material to him so I'd have some new clothes for teaching this spring. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining down and a gentle breeze blowing. It was one of those days where I was really wishing I had the freedom to put on a pair of shorts and running shoes and pound my feet into the pavement (which, by the way, we have very little of here) or to jump in my car and drive up into the mountains and go bouldering for the afternoon. But, I don't have those freedoms here. And I was feeling a bit frustrated by that and getting really annoyed at people staring at me. Some days it's so easy to ignore and I barely notice all the eyes baring down on me. But, as I was mulling over my limited physical freedom a taxi drove by my teammate and I walking down the street. He slowed down to see if we needed a ride and when we didn't accept his offer, he kept staring.....and driving. I walked behind the car and crossed the street to try to avoid his eyes which kept following us. And he kept driving and driving, straight into a drainage ditch on the side of the street!!! Then all the shop keepers and others on the street started laughing and laughing. "He was watching the women!" They said. I know that some people wouldn't find this very Christian of me, but that totally made my day. I could almost picture God flicking that car into the ditch and saying "Hey, quit staring at my daughter!!"

I'm realizing that my upcoming year and a half in America is going to be a bittersweet homecoming. Some days, it is so, so, so hard to be here. I have never done anything or been anywhere that is so difficult day in and day out as this place. I have never felt like giving up like I have over this last year. And at the same time, I have never been so inspired to put my whole self into something. I have never felt the love of God like I have this last year and a half. I have never been a part of something so much bigger than myself that I absolutely believe in. And having to leave what God is doing in this place is breaking my heart. And at the same time, I so need some time away to process, to heal, to drink deep of God's refreshing. I've been thinking about what's ahead here and I've gotten piles and piles of advice from people mostly wanting me to return to America and commit myself to something or another there. I have to admit, the idea of returning to America and putting my efforts into something else has been a thought that has passed through my mind....but usually only because it's easier, more convenient, requires less faith and less tears than this place does. If God spoke to me to return home permanently (he HAS spoken for me to return for schooling) the I'd do it in a heartbeat because it's not about what is important for us or what is best for us, it's about obedience and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. A teacher in my organization once said, "I want to lean so heavily on God that if He moves, I fall over." That is the prayer for my life...not that I just am in the place that makes me most happy but that I am absolutely in will of God.

Easter was like any other day here. There were no chocolate bunnies or annoying plastic green "grass" spread throughout the house after the basket was looted for the good stuff or brighly colored eggs or even a well-planned church service or program. But, in some ways, I like that all that "fluff" is removed and I can see my creator face-to-face. My mom was writing on her blog about a discussion she and my youngest brother had had about Jesus' death and resurrection. They talked about how important Jesus' LIFE was. Obviously, we know his death has so much important and significance, but I think my family hit on a key point. Jesus also LIVED for us. He loved no matter what the cost was. He gave not only his life in death but he gave his life while he lived. If only we would show this kind of love more often for others around us. May you experience that life and love of Christ today!