Engagement Party

As in most cultures, engagements and weddings can be all-consuming, big events. This culture is no exception. At the time of engagement, after back and forth communication between the man's family and the women's family (most marriages are arranged here), an agreement is made and then an official party is held to announce the engagement. Unlike my own culture however, the woman stays at home while the families party. Last week I had the privilege to attend the party.

If the family has money they rent a wedding hall and have a big ordeal, but if the family has less money, like the family that I attended the party with, the event is held in the home.

So, I donned my visiting clothes (the ones with the sparkly sequins all over them...yes, I'm contextualizing!), went over to a local friend's house and then we went together to the party. We were seated in a room which proceeded to fill to the brim with women and children. And just when I thought we couldn't fit more people in, the whole bride's family showed up announcing their arrival with hand drums, carrying a tray of gifts on their head. Later they will present these gifts for the bridegroom and members of his family. They usually consist of clothes, scarves, toiletry items and such. The women entered the room, and we proceeded with the formalities of kissing each other three times on the cheek with each woman. I was trying to count how many kisses I gave/received but after the first ten women went by, I lost track!

We sat around and had tea while the young teenage girls played the hand held drums and took turns dancing in the center of the room. After a few cups of tea we went to another room where the lunch was set out for us. I had to smile when I was seated next to a plate of rice that I was told was made with less oil (my friend knows foreigners don't consume as much oil as they do here) and I was handed a spoon, rather than expected to eat with my hands (which by the way...I have mastered the art of, but still prefer the spoon if it's an option!).



So there was more eating, and there was more dancing, and there was much chatting. I love the world of women that I get to experience here. They sit around talking of weather and kids. The women are nursing their babies, chatting about their children's upcoming school exams and laughing and dancing. There is so much beauty seated in that room. I can sense God looking down on them and delighting in them and longing to call them his own. What a privilege to experience!