Change is a'comin!

Do you ever get that sense that you are at the verge of something new, something that will flip your world upside down and you have no idea what it is? Like you just want to run after it with everything you have, and yet you are hesitant because it will mean life change and leaving things behind.

This is the amorphous zone I'm in right now. I'm happy to say that I'm a bit more happy right now. I had some great times of prayer, some debriefing, building some new friendships, hung out with people that have different perspective, different experiences, and wisdom to offer.

One thing I am breaking free from is GUILT! I have been tending to hang that like a weight around my neck and making decisions out of it, and holding back because of it, and sitting under a cloud of it. I have had some time looking at the root of guilt in my life and breaking it off. I don't think I will never feel guilty again, but I feel as though I've found a dose of freedom during this time. And Christian guilt is the worst. We shroud it in this thing that looks like holiness and servanthood, but really it's ugly, stinky guilt. Really, we are not called to take on all the world's load, we are not called to be walking martyrs because it induces some kind of spiritual perfection in us, we are not called to serve because there is no other option....we are called to live an abundant life in Christ! We are called to run the race marked out for us. We are called to take on His yoke. We are called to live a life of fullness and abundance, not heaviness and drudgery. My mother and I spoke last night on the phone and she even commented that I don't sound so guilty any more. Praise God! Freedom is a beautiful thing.

But still, there are some decisions in my hands right now. I have a number of things that I'm praying through, processing and talking with people about. I wish I could divulge more, but I do ask for your prayers as I wade through all this. I guess the thing I can tell you is that change is happening. I have had a sense that transition was upon me this whole last year. That feeling is even stronger than ever. So, I'm waiting on the Lord, asking him for the fullness of this next season for me.

I will be heading to Switzerland in a week and I'm looking forward to a change of scenery and hanging out with friends I haven't seen in a while as well as exploring a country that I have not been to yet!