Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

I'm gradually making my way back overseas again and saying plenty of goodbyes along the way. I spent a few days in Scotland getting in as many conversations as I could with people, grabbing the few things that I left there and soaking up the things I enjoy about that place. I'm so thankful for my time there to rest, pray, process and just be. The people at the Scotland base welcomed me with open arms and created a space for me to heal and spend time with God.


My first morning I went to get a cup of coffee and a scone at a local place and then walked along the beach. It's a bit hard to see in this photo above, but the Isle of Arran is in the distance, but all you could see was the snow covered peaks of the island and it was perfectly framed by the clouds. It was so beautiful and I took this photo with my camera phone because my nice camera has a dead battery and the charger is still in Af-stan.

It was hard saying goodbye to my family. It almost felt that if I stayed that we could stay in this incubated period of mourning my grandpa's death, but leaving was like saying "I'm moving on with my life." The emotions of it is struck me more than I was anticipating. The next time I return home (wherever home really is any more), it will be a very different place.

On a positive note, I've enjoyed the phase of being Auntie Danika to Bella, my brother and sister-in-law's daughter and their new daughter they are expecting in May. I managed to make two blankets while I was home, one for each girl and went on a bit of a shopping spree for new clothes for the girls. I only wish I was going to be home when Alexee is born! Here are some photos of the blankets:

for Princess Bella:

A pink blanket for a pink-loving princess.

and for baby Alexee:





She's been a very active little one so I found it fitting that I found a pattern for a monkey blanket. It was a bit more work than I expected being that it was color-work and it's two-sided. But, I'm very happy with the way it turned out and was so happy to be able to give these to Bella and Rachael before I left.

Goodbyes never get easier, in all their forms. You would think in my line of work where people are constantly in and out of my life, I'd get used to it or find better ways of dealing with all the emotions that come with saying goodbye. Yet, I suppose it's a good thing that it's hard to say goodbye because it means you love and are loved.

A Chicago getaway

This last weekend I had a beautiful gift of a plane ticket out to see some good friends. I was so happy to be able to travel out and see Sasha and Beth and catch up on life and everything else. It was a quick trip...I stayed 2 nights, but I was able to see where both these beautiful and wonderful women are living and where post-grad school life has taken them.

Saturday we managed to cram in breakfast downtown, a stroll through the Art Institute (free all February for those who want to go!), a little shopping, coffee, a Valentines' comedy sketch (pretty hilarious...people send in their breakup letters, texts, voice mails, etc, and they turn it into a show once a year. Very cathartic for the broken-hearted or single at Valentines' Day), and my dear birthday buddy Sasha (her birthday is 2 days before mine) made me tiramisu early morning the day I arrived which we took spoons to in Beth's apartment and finished off the next day.

Sunday was a day for church downtown and another coffee shop and then off to the suburbs to hang out at Sasha's, pray for the people she's been interacting with and enjoy a wonderful homemade dinner. Later that evening, a Turkish friend of hers called concerned about a bump her baby boy had taken to the head. We went over and I immediately felt at home....cushions on the floor, tv blaring, vibrant curtains and plaques of Mecca and passages from the Qu'ran on the wall. The kids ran around and the tired mother talked and asked me questions about not being married and such. I felt instantly back in Central Asia...and I loved it! The next day we stopped by to see how the little boy was doing and the woman had made an Uzbek rice dish I LOVE and homemade bread and green tea. Delish! If I moved back to the US, I would be her neighbor!

I'm so, so, so thankful for friends that are willing to stay connected despite the distance and love moments like these where I can descend into peoples' lives and share our hearts, our prayers and a few laughs together. These ladies are the best valentines a girl could have!

Turning 30

So, I turned thirty today.
I think your thirtieth is one that there is a lot of hype leading up to, but it felt a bit anticlimactic today. I thought I was either supposed to have some kind of emotional crisis or be jumping up and down about all that life holds. It felt a bit like the day after yesterday.

All that being said, I'm pretty happy to be thirty. I have no regrets about life. I've seen things and had experiences that people classify as "once in a lifetime" and I get to view as another ordinary day. I've seen much of the world. I've gotten to make a difference in peoples' lives. I've been deeply impacted by other people. I don't know how much more living I could have crammed into these thirty years!

And I look forward to what is ahead. I have no idea what truly is ahead. (do any of us really?) But after next December I have no idea what life may hold. I'm such a planner and not having at least a plan in process used to really freak me out. But, now I'm seeing the potential of all the possibilities and knowing I'm following in the footsteps that God has laid out for me. And that makes the unknown exciting rather than scary.


Today my family didn't have plans until the evening so I pulled my brother out of bed at about 10am this morning and asked if he wanted to go x-country skiing with me at Giants' Ridge, the nearby ski hill here in northern MN. I went downhill skiing on Wednesday but have never tried the x-country ski trails. We rented skiis and hit the trails. Well, I am a much better down hill skier than I am x-country. I was wobbling as I tried to skate ski, and I forgot what a full-body workout it was!

Here's some photos from our day:



My brother William was a brave soul as I dragged him along. He took a number of spills but kept getting up and pushing on.



I was pretty excited that I was upright most of the time and enjoyed the trails. However, as we were coming down a hill and around a corner, another skier was just standing at the bottom of the hill. William fell to avoid hitting her, and I tried getting off the track to avoid hitting him. Well, I basically belly-flopped head first on to the groomed trail, going down the hill at a pretty good clip, and I'm pretty sure I bruised or cracked a rib on my right side. If I laugh or breathe deeply I feel a good amount of pain. Funny, I've been rocketing my body down mountains on skis for a number of years and have never done that and then I go down a bit of an incline going cross country and get a pretty good injury.



But after it all, we still had smiles on our faces! I'm thankful for a brother who's willing to get out and do some fun stuff with me. I see my family so rarely so times like these are ones I'll treasure for a long time.

So, cheers to a new decade. I hope there are many adventures to come, many new friends to meet, continued relationships that will deepen and grow, and a God who is the spearhead of it all and loves me so much that he is writing me a pretty awesome story.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes!