Monday, October 31, 2011

I love my brothers, so much!



November 1 is here in Taiwan. I was wanting to get up this morning and push through my to-do list. But I needed a moment, or a few, to sit and just remember and shed a few tears and miss my brother James.

Five years ago today he left this earth and there has been a hole in our family ever since. We all have walked through some incredibly painful times of grieving and in my perspective it has brought us all to a realization of how much we truly love one another. My brother William lost his best friend. My mom lost a child...a deep loss no parent is ever prepared to face. All of us lost a person who we treasured and deeply cared for.

What's strange to me is to think that James would be turning 21 this year. This year we could be going out for dinner and I could by him his first drink as a legal adult. Or he could have been in the Navy as was his plan and I'm sure it may have not been his first ;). He would be stepping into those dreams he had as a kid. But instead, he is burned in my memory as this young man. Our family has gone from us 4 kids around to three...though James is never really not with us. He always remains a part of all we do and all we are and all we are becoming.

I would do anything to reach out and give this guy a hug. I know he's with Jesus and God can do the hugging for me, but there is still an emptiness on this side of death when our loved ones are no longer here. I shouldn't be so resistant to remembering, even though it's painful and as I sit here, tears stream down my face. My brother was in incredible guy. I miss you James. I miss you so much.

Jeremiah teaching begins

Yesterday I started my week on teaching Jeremiah and Lamentations. I've been so blessed this year to teach books that have allowed me to really see others' journey in their relationship with God. Psalms brought me into the communion between King David and God, Moses challenged me in Exodus in his journey of discipleship by the Lord and his ever growing confidence as a leader, and Jeremiah has challenged me to the core on what commitment and obedience to the Lord truly looks like. 

The above "wordle"....(you can make your own at www.wordle.net) is of the text of Jeremiah. I've spent many hours and read over that text many times and am only beginning to feel like I'm digging into it. 

One of the greatest things I have been challenged in is Jeremiah's call and his life's work is his obedience that went beyond understanding what God is doing. I like to know the "why" behind things. I like to know that what I'm investing my time and energy in has value and is producing something that will last. But God doesn't always give us that reassurance before he asks us to do something. This really stands out to me when the city of Jerusalem in under siege. Jeremiah is in prison and God speaks to him to buy a piece of property in his hometown. By this point in time he's prophesied the destruction of Jerusalem for nearly 40 years. He's seen it happen in his prophetic understanding, his circumstances don't lend to this being a wise decision and yet God tells him to. The text tells us he purchased it, and then he turned to God and asked for understanding about why he was supposed to do this. But, his obedience wasn't halted or even slowed by his need to understand. 

In my journey with God, I don't feel I've been so trusting. Even now, there are things being laid upon my heart, stuff I've been processing about for the future, but I'm wanting a bit more of an understanding that it might be worth it, that I will see good things come out of it. But obedience to the voice of the Lord doesn't come with a guarantee of results, the guarantee we have is that the one speaking is trustworthy and good. 

I hope to take some photos this week from class. I transformed the front of the classroom into a giant timeline and it's proving to be fun teaching this way. I have a few tricks up my sleeve for the rest of the week as well. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What the Poop just happened?.....or, thoughts on loving my neighbor


Friday afternoon....seemed like any other ordinary day here in Taiwan. Minding my business, meeting with people, getting some work done. In the midst of normal, crazy walked into my apartment building.

Our second floor neighbors have some cleanliness issues. Serious cleanliness issues. They have piles of bags of something unidentified that have been in our stairwell for 2+ years and have never moved. Their living room is one big pile of junk/garbage with a small pathway through it. They own a dog....a very stinky dog who they also let out "secretly" at night to pee in the stairway cuz that's easier than taking him for a walk. They also chew and spit out beetle nut, also on these lovely stairs. These people are a constant source of frustration to me. When we have guests over, we have to apologize for the journey up the stairs to the apartment. Some friends run as fast as they can so that it can be over quickly.

So.....back to the crazy (yeah....we haven't even gotten to the crazy part yet!). While my roommate was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for a friend, a man who was "not all together there" walked into the building and tried loudly and quite adamantly to try to get into the first floor apartment. He must have known these people. When he couldn't get in, he dropped trou and went diarrhea ALL OVER the landing in front of the first floor apartment. He came running back down, poo down his legs and took off, leaving his poo in the hallway, which soon sent odors all the way up to our fifth floor apartment. I showed up at home just a few minutes after this all happened....there was no way to avoid the stinky lake of diarrhea. You had to walk in it to get up the stairs.

I was so frustrated I left....I spent the rest of the afternoon just boiling up with frustration inside. I arrived home 6 hours later to find nothing had changed, and the paper towels my roommate had put down so that you could somehow get beyond the poo-river, had been strewn all over and the other people in the building had just walked through this and scattered the poop up and down the stairs. and I can't even begin to describe how disgusting the smell was. I couldn't eat anything all day.

I don't get angry very easily...frustrated yes, but not angry. This made me so, so ANGRY. I was ready to go down and give my neighbors a mouthful of nastiness in English, but my other roommate was home and was not in such a rage so we calmly and quietly went down to ask them to clean it up. The man who lives there came and walked through the middle of the mess, just looked at us, said nothing, walked into his apartment (shoes still on....gag) and shut the door.

I didn't get much sleep that night. The angry monster kept my thoughts racing.

Next day, my roommate and I bought 2 bottles of bleach, pulled out some old mops and cleaned our stairwell top to bottom. It took us 2 1/2 hours and we used almost the whole 2 gallons of bleach and countless buckets of water. The "substance" of the poo had been kind of removed sometime during the evening, but there were crusty remnants everywhere.

This turned out to be actually very therapeutic for me. After we had thoroughly cleaned off the "landing of abomination" we just stopped and prayed for our neighbors. In that moment, I got a glimpse of how sad these people's lives are. Their external reality was just a reflection of their internal. They are a mess. They are broken and lost. They are in a really sad and pathetic state. It made me realize that loving my neighbor is not just having a cup of coffee with a really fun university student and sharing about my life and Jesus. Sometimes loving my neighbor means you scrub their crap....sometimes literally. Sometimes loving  your neighbor means it costs you and benefits them. Sometimes loving your neighbor means that you have to speak hope into complete hopelessness. I learned a valuable lesson.

And the dog peed on the stairway again that night. Just an ordinary day.


Saturday, October 08, 2011

Countdown to the USA!!!

With all the mediums of technology to communicate through these days email, blogs, twitter, Facebook, etc, it still means you have to sit down and actually tap out the letters on the keyboard or screen and send it off to everyone.

Right now I'm in the process of switching over all my email updates to a newsletter email program so that I can send photos and nice looking updates without the hassle or sending ginormous attachments. This process is taking longer than I thought because I realized half the addresses I have are outdated, life here in Taiwan is quite busy at the moment, and it takes more motivation than I seem to have to sit down and work through all this.....
but it's coming soon!!!!
(and if you want my new and shiny updates, I'd LOVE for you to send me a current email that you actually check!)

And not only are my emails coming, but SO AM I!!!! to Minnesota and Colorado, and soon.

I'm taking about 3.5 weeks in the States for some rest and rejuvenation and reconnection with people because I will be working with Titus Project here in January (this will be included in said newsletter when it makes it's way to you!). I'm mixing it up with my visit home in that this time I'll be primarily at my mom's house in Mankato and therefore more in the area of the Twin Cities and southern MN. If you are reading this and you are near that area, I SERIOUSLY would love to see you. I'm really missing friends and family from back home and don't want people to feel shy about finding me (did you know I am an extrovert....it's true! I miss people a lot). I'll be home from Nov. 7-Dec. 2.

AND>>>> I'm also going to be in Colorado from Nov. 10 or 11 to 17. I'm flying into Denver and will also be visiting Ft. Collins...so again, I'd love to see you.

For both locations I'm not sure what the transportation situation will look like so if we get together, I'll make you a deal....I'll fly across the ocean, and then you can drive to meet me the rest of the way, sounds good?!

Before I head home I'm teaching the books of Jeremiah and Lamentations in the SBS here. For those of you who may not know this fun fact, Jeremiah is the second longest book in the Bible (Psalms is the first) so I've been spending a lot of hours pouring through the text and being very challenged by the life and message of this prophet. Take time to pray for me and for the students that will be studying this book. I teach three days: Oct. 31, Nov. 2, 4.

Well....I hope you enjoyed what is basically an email update in blog format. Just killing two birds with one stone. Next blog update will be more fun-filled and hopefully include some photos.

Oh yeah, and the countdown: 29 DAYS!!!!!