Mud city!!

So, when I was at home I was telling people that when it rains or snows here it gets muddy. But, my words just can't describe how an entire city becomes a mud pit with the tiniest bit of precipitation. We just had a nice snowfall here a couple days ago so I wanted to post a picture to let you in on what it's really like here. (my house is the pink monstrosity on the far right) For those of you who shared good times at the "Pondo"....just imagine the mud there and then put it everywhere and add a few bits and pieces of garbage to it. Fun!

Spotted holiness

In the center of my city stands a gigantic mosque that is a tomb of Hazarat Ali, the cousin and son-in-law of the prophet Mohammed. It is always full of birds, reminiscient of Trafalgar square, except a bit dirtier and less, modernized I guess. The legend is that the more time the birds spend at the mosque, the whiter they become because the place is so holy. It is also said that if they land on your house, it is a blessing for those inside. So, I could either believe that or that they are the most annoying things, making nice white and grayish birdie-poo stains on my house under the window sills.

Today I was standing, gazing out on the city from my second story window of my house. I love to just look out and anonymously watch the goings-ons of my street. There is ALWAYS some group of kids or some men and occasionally the burka clad group of women walking by. I pray for them, I ask God to increase my love for this place, the people. On some mornings I watch the sun rise from behind the mountains or watch the colors dance from yellow, to pink to dark purple on the peaks in the evenings. Today I watched a flock of the "oh so glorious" group of feathered poopers land on my neighbors' house. They caught my attention because most of them weren't reallly white. They were spotted. Some were almost all black with the tiniest spot of white on their tails. Ah, yes. New converts, I quietly mused to myself. Being that it's spring, they must have migrated in and are only beginning the journey to holiness.

Sometimes life would be easier if we could just wear holiness on the outside. We wouldn't have to lie about the jealousy over our friend's success because we'd have a nice big dark spot over our heart telling the world about it. We would have a good reason to ignore the others who were covered in dark color because we knew their deep unholiness. And we could fly with pride when we emerged dazzling white for the world to gaze upon us, dropping our blessings on every person and household we could grace.

But then again, maybe it's good that even though man looks on the outward appearance, God looks on the heart.

Is that you Betty Crocker?

Well, the week is winding down. It's been fairly eventful...a harrowing (but albeit, normal) taxi ride up from the capital, surprise visits from friends who heard I was back, days at the office and afternoons at home resting off my head cold. I've gotten to sit down and catch up with my teammates and local co-workers to hear how things have been going.

Coming back has been such a priviledge of getting reacquainted with the people and the culture. I loved being home but I felt that often times I was defending my calling, defending the people here, sometimes feeling like I was defending God himself (because let's not forget, He was the one who called me to be a part of what HE's doing in this place.) Once arriving here, no one was asking me "Why are you THERE? Isn't it dangerous?" And I know I have a huge support base at home and a cheering section and a wonderful group of people who pray for me and pray for the people here, but sometimes I get the feeling some people are just holding their breath, waiting for me to get through this phase and move on to the next, less dangerous, less crazy thing (like grad school!) All I would ask is that you don't hold your breath too long, because it could be a good long while.

Today I watched a movie called "Magdalene." Fantastic! It's the J. film but it's told from the perspective of Mary Magdalene and emphasizes our Savior's interaction with women and how he gave them dignity and restored their honor. So, it shows a lot of His teaching and tells the story of his life, but it pauses on the woman who was bleeding for 12 years, the woman at the well, the women who ministered beside the disciples, the woman caught in adultery, and of course, Mary Magdalene herself. For those of you in ministry to the same type of culture and religion I am I highly recommend getting a copy of it. It's not out in the local language yet, but will be soon. It will be a tool I will have plenty of opportunities to use.

Some other news I wanted to pass on to my loyal blog readers was my pride at baking yet another new thing from scratch! So far I've learned how to make pumpkin pie from scratch (like from the actual pumpkin, not from a can), bagels, pizza, biscotti, and the list goes on. Today I added TORTILLAS!!!! They looked just like the ones from the store except a little misshappen. I'm telling you, this whole experience has made me a lot more domestic! ha!

Home Sweet Home

After a three day journey across three continents in a plane and couple taxis, I arrived HOME! I have to tell you it was the strangest feeling to land in the country and have that "breathe a sigh of relief after a long journey away" feeling when you come home. That's what this place feels like to me now. That was also not something I was expecting upon returning.

In Dubai I waited overnight in the same airport terminal that I did a year and a half ago upon first entering this country for full-time work. The terminal had changed a bit, (thankgoodness! They put chairs in and a better coffee shop that served more than nescafe. So, I didn't have to sit on the floor and gag down instant coffee this time!) While I was sitting there I was realizing how much life and I have changed since I sat in that very spot just a year and a half ago. I thought how amazing it would be to have the Danika now sit down and have a talk with the Danika a year and a half ago. I wrote about that in my journal while I was there and wanted to write it here to share with you all:

"I would tell her to humble herself and just soak up the experiences. I would tell her to seek intimacy with Jesus above all else. I would tell her not to be so driven to be productive. I would tell her to allow herself to be broken and to learn from failure (and that failure WILL come!) I would tell her to enjoy the people and learn from them--just watch and listen. I would tell her to press hard into language because it sure does pay off and it is in conversation (along with love and time and effort) that relationships are fostered.

"I would tell her that beauty lies within and it cannot be destroyed or marred by man because it wells up from within, and the source is the River of LIFE, Jesus himself.

"I would tell her not to run from the difficult times for there she will meet her Savior face-to-face.
I would tell her to rest, take care of herself and not to be ashamed when she's weak. God truly is strength in our weakness.
I would tell her that she is loved, passionately, deeply, more intimately than she will ever know.

"And I would hug her and tell her she's not alone, that no matter where her two feet take her, she doesn't take those steps alone. No matter how overwhelming the loneliness becomes, she has a Companion, a Leader, a Protector and Provider on that journey."

Wow...who knew experience could dump that much wisdom on you just from a year and a half! And those lessons definitely didn't come easy or in a neatly defined and well-written manual. I hope I heed my own advice in the days to come. I could really use prayer. I'm diving back into leadership. The team seems to be really healthy and stable, praise God. But, we have some big decisions and a lot of work ahead of us to prepare for what's coming this spring. I'll be getting into that on Sunday when our work-week begins.

The wide, wide world

Well friends, and whoever else happens to glance at this blog...It's the night before I leave and my bags are all packed. I spent 4 hours on the phone today just saying goodbyes. I can't believe 3 months has flown by so fast. I was thinking today this time has been bitter-sweet...but then I changed my mind because when I think of bitter-sweet it seems that it's more negative than positive. Yes, the death of my brother was like a gash through my heart, nothing positive about that. However, there have been sweet, sweet times here...with family and friends but the sweetest have been my times alone with the Lord. I've sobbed so much in these last few months, the whole body wrenching, gasping sobbing. But, in the release of the pain in my heart, I've felt the peace of God descend on me like nothing I could put into words. And I have this eye-opening glimpse of eternity that was somewhat clouded before my world getting flipped upside-down. I have come to understand that death is not an ending but a moving on and that the reality of life in a fallen world, that is what is bittersweet about this. We are living in the shadow of promises fulfilled. Our glory is still to come. We live with war, disease, pain, tears, divorce, famine, etc. Perfection, ultimate beauty, everlasting fulfillment is still only a hope in our hearts, but for those who have passed on to the next life, their hope is reality. wow.

So the other great news, I just talked to my Dad on the phone tonight and he read me my ACCEPTANCE letter from Wheaton! Now I'm just waiting for them to tell me that they are giving me money to study at their school! So, Masters of Intercultural Studies, here I come!

I will keep this blog updated and would love emails and comments and communication from EVERYONE! It really makes my day and I love being able to stay in touch even being half a world away.

What do you think?

Here are a few quotes in some books I was reading this summer that really struck me. I'm not offering my thoughts (so as not to influence) but would love to hear some of yours!

I leave on Monday...prayer would be appreciated. (particularly, I need a miracle for my finances right now.)

"Missionary work is a grain of sand, the work untouched is a pyramid....Face it. Look and listen, alone with God. Then go, let go, help go. But never, never, never think that anything short of this is being 'interested in missions.' Never, until this point is reached and passed, delude yourself into believing that you care at all."
from A Chance to Die, by Elizabeth Eliot (biography of Amy Carmichael)

"...But we must remember that it was not by interceding for the world in glory that Jesus saved it. He gave Himself. Our prayers for the evangelization of the world are but a bitter irony so long as we only give of our superfluity and draw back before the sacrafice of ourselves."
from On the Threshold of C. Africa, by M. Coiland

David Crowder Band Concert

Wow...
I just got back from seeing David Crowder Band in concert this evening. It was, mmmm, cathartic may be the right word. Their music is meant to be experienced, not just heard. It was incredible.

And it got me thinking about my kitchen in C. Asia. Why?, you ask. Well...when I cook (our team takes turns cooking dinner), I enjoy a bit of music and David Crowder Band is one of my favs. I remember one really crappy day where I was in one of those "I just want to pack up my bags and get out of here" moods. So, I brought out my ipod and my speakers but the electricity went out. (explative!) So, I put my headphones on and cranked up the sound and was literally jumping around and singing "you are my joy, you are my joy, you are my JOOOOOYYYYYYY!!!" at the top of my lungs. Now, my kitchen door and window look out into my yard (the kitchen is not connected to the inside of the house except through a porch) and our night watchman was out there watching the crazy western woman performing live in the kitchen.

Then I'm at this concert jumping around and singing at the top of my lungs again and Mr. Crowder probably has no idea that his songs are being performed live in Asia.

A trip to the coast

Yesterday I hiked a couple hours around the preserve that my aunt and uncle live on and today I tramped down the trail along the coast. Beautiful!!!! The weather was great, the wildlife was abundant and my soul was ALIVE!! It's hard to believe next week I'll be back to the desert. It makes days like this even sweeter.

Starbucks revelation

I sat at starbucks today in California tapping my pen on the table next to a card that took me way too long to choose out of the cliched-filled rack of sympathy cards. Noah Steven Graves, 7 months, was taken off of life support last week and I was attempting to put into words something that was beyond human description. In a moment of honesty, I etched out some mediocre musings and put the card in the envelope. But, as my words felt inadequate, my spirit felt inspired. I just sat, sipping my dark roast coffee (which in my coffee-snobbiness I felt couldn't compare to my favorite cup of caribou coffee...how ironic to be dwelling on the trivial in that moment). My mind was bouncing between memories of James and images of little Noah in his hospital bed. And honestly friends, I felt as if I was pressed up against the cross. I could see it towering above me. I reached out and touched the wood only to withdraw in pain as splinters pierced their way into my palm. And it was empty. I felt what is becoming an all-too-familiar ache in my heart when I think of James...and only those who have experienced a deep loss can understand how your heart physcially hurts when you miss someone like that. I coddled the ache, mulling it over in my spirit and the whisper of Jesus came to me, "this is what I died for. This is what I am returning for." That ache in my heart is only a small amount of what Jesus took upon himself on the cross. Death was never the plan in the beginning, and only because of our selfishness and greed has it become a part of our life through the Curse. But, it's our choice to embrace death as a normal part of life, or to embrace eternity beyond this shadow of what is to come that we live in.

Where, o death, is your sting?! I can now scream it to the heavenlies.

As me and Jesus were having our intimate, caffeine-tickled moment, I couldn't help observe what was happening around me. There were two Iranian students behind me chatting away in Farsi. I understood bits and pieces of their conversation about frustrations over finances and other daily problems. Another couple of young, athletic, all-American guys were brainstorming youth group activities and were figuring out which part of the Bible teaching to cut out so they'd have enough time for a scavanger hunt. Two women across from me were scoping out adult education classes in a catalogue and another touchy-feely couple was chatting away in Spanish. It just seemed so ordinary. In some ways, insignificant. And yet, I thought, here we all sit in the shadow of the cross with its splinters in our hands.

"I am beginning to suspect...that the common transactions of life are the most sacred channels for the spread of the heavenly leaven." George MacDonald, The Curate of Glaston.

Amen, MacDonald. Amen.

The Gift of Sight

My mom received a letter yesterday from the organization that helped coordinate Jimmy's organ donation. They were writing to inform us that someone had received the gift of sight through the donation of James' organs. My mom and I cried together on the phone when she told me about it.

I remember someone going off on me about organ donation a couple years ago and how the system is corrupt and some people's organs end up being waste in some university somewhere. They swore they would never let their body parts be so flippantly dealt with. I don't believe that person has ever lost a loved one or known someone that had a second chance because someone else donated their organs. And by the way, I'm an organ donor so you can all fight over my body parts once I'm gone. I definitely won't be needing them!

Of course, even if we could help every single person in the world, it wouldn't take away the pain in my heart from losing James, but today, a little bit of it was eased. I know that someone out there, is walking around with James' gentle eyes. There truly is beauty that rises out of the ashes.

________________________________________________________________

I'm scheduled to take my GRE at noon on Friday, January 12. I'll be so happy to finally have that over with.

And then I fly out to CA on Sunday!!!
(My return date to Asia is leaving the States February 12 and arriving Feb. 14)

Here are some photos, as promised earlier:

My grandparents' house all decorated for Christmas!


This is a view of the yard after a snowstorm on New Year's Eve.


William (my youngest brother) and I went sliding on "killer hill" near where my grandparents live.


One of many silly pictures William and I took in the park after sliding.


This is for all you Who's down in Who-ville! :)

just random stuff: a pseudo Christmas update letter

Happy New Year everyone!!!

I wanted to let you all know (for those of you who actually do look at my blog!) my plans for the weeks and months ahead. I'll be in Minnesota through January 14 and speaking at Biwabik Covenant Church on January 7. Then I'll be flying out to CA to stay with some friends and mentors of mine. Super "stoked" about that! From CA, I'll leave for good ol' home-away-from-home in C. Asia. I'll be there until this summer when I'll be coming back to the States and starting grad school in the fall. Some people have asked what I'll be doing at grad school and if it relates to what I'm doing now. I'm planning on attending Wheaton College and going through their Intercultural Studies program and I'll focus on leadership development in cross-cultural contexts. And for those of you who know what I'm up to lately, it definitely relates to my job. I'm planning, as of this moment but God has the right to change my plans at any time, to return overseas after the one and a half year program.

Everyone's also been asking how Christmas was with me and my family. I'm happy to say that it was quite nice. We really enjoyed being together (it's been 5 or 6 years since we were all together for the holidays). We had our sad moments and shed a few tears but all-in-all the focus was really on enjoying our time together. It was really great to be with my family even though the events that brought me home were nothing I would have wished to bring me home. For those who know my family, here's a brief update on what everyone is doing: my mom just finished her exams and is officially a Ph.D. candidate. Go Mom!! We're all super proud of her. she's put a lot of work into going back to school and she took her exams just a few weeks after the funeral. She's amazing. Her husband, Mike, is currently not working due to an injury to his shoulder but he still putzes in the garage and pretty much dishes out a hard time to all us kids...all in good fun. What would our family be without sarcasm? Mike definitely fits in! William is back at school and working on cars and practicing his guitar. He really, really wants to learn drums and begs Mom and Mike for a drum set all the time. Jeremy is living in Minnesota and working as a DJ and at a convenience store. He also is part of a Christian metal band called Servanthood but is really passionate about writing his own music as well. His guitar skills put me to shame.

I'll be sending out a newsletter (minus all the above details so it will actually be interesting!!) so if you are not sure if you're on my mailing list and would like to get one, please let me know. And I'll be posting some Christmas pics in the days ahead.

Happy 2007!!! I can't believe it's already here. Time flies. I've been spending this time with friends and family, meeting spouses that I haven't met yet, seeing children that I haven't seen yet. I'm beginning to realize I actually am in my late 20's (27th birthday in a month!!). Some friends and I were talking that we used to babysit for people who were our age at the time. weird.

But, may this year be one of passion for Jesus, friends and family, and full or surprises and joy. That's what I'm hoping for this year!

My front door has a time warp

Why is it that every adult that returns home seems to step through some time warp that none of us notices but everyone feels? I have talked to SO many people that say they feel like a kid when they go back to their parents' house (or with whomever you lived with growing up). I'm feeling the affects of it today. Everyone is off at work and I'm stuck at home...literally. I don't have a car. So, I've been entertaining myself with video rentals (which I had to get a ride to go get) and typing up my newsletter. And my family KNOWS i'm an adult. I KNOW I'm an adult. Why don't we act like people have adult lives? I even find myself getting whiney and moody like a teenager. It's like the second I step through my front door my hair magically jumps up into a frizzy mess, my bangs get 10 feet higher, my acne magically appears and I am trying to find an excuse to stay up past my bed time...but, it's all blind to me and everyone around me until those magical family moments when you stop and think...hey, I live on the other side of the world ON MY OWN!!! I have a checking account and I pay taxes. What is happening to me!?!?!

So, I'm also trying to figure out what to do with my time here and make some major decisions. Prayer is always appreciatated. I honestly feel like Afghanistan is too much for my heart at the moment and I need a bit more time...not a lot but a bit. But, staying at home and just sitting all day is not refreshing my heart. It's mostly numbing it. So, I have some options. Please pray with me as I seek God as to what is best for me right now.

Oh and a little shout out to all you who have called or emailed about stopping by whenever I'm in your area...but unless it's outside of Gilbert, MN then it's probably not going to happen. If you really can't live without your Danika-fix until next summer, you'll have to come see me! I wish I could but between not having a car and buying plane tickets, it's just not possbile right now.

Ode to the airport

You know, I actually really enjoy the airport.
You would think after all the time I've had to spend in this self-contained limbo you would think that I'd hate the airport. But, I seriously enjoy it. I think I just love it that even though we are all here with separate passports we are all experiencing the same culture together. And it feels kind of like an exclusive club. You pay your fees and you get to walk through into the member's only area (aka "ticketed passengers"). It's the one place in the world where you can whip your belt off in public and no one thinks twice about it.

Today I sat down and finished my Seattles Best coffee (ah, I love America) just across from the door where you can greet people getting off their plane. I absolutely love that place...watching little kids scream out "daddy!!" and run and unabandondly jump into their father's arms, couples kissing after a long, or short, time apart, moms with 3 different spiderman backpacks hanging off their arms while dad and the boys are taking care of business in the men's room. I love it that people will dress in stalletto heels and faux fur jackets and sit next to the girl who looks like she rolled out of bed right into the plane in her sweatpants and a hoodie.

And, have you ever noticed that the people who work in the security area, especially around the holidays, are like super, super, super, SUPER happy. It's like they had 3 coffees and are chewing on candy canes all day. The guy today stamped my boarding pass like three times he was so excited about it. Maybe it's a ploy to distract us from the stress of security checks. Seriously, some day we are all going to have to strip down to our underwear to go through those and we'll probably only be able to carry our passport through. That will be a fun day.

Well, now after being in 9 countries and in through 6 different US states in the last month and a half, I'm headed back to "home" to spend the holidays with the family. My time in Colorado and Montana (and Wyoming for a night) was absolutely fantabulous and my soul feels much refreshed. I'm seriously amazed at the friends and family that God has placed in my life. If every girl could be so lucky.

Makeup and prayer

My friend (momma) Donna, who I'm staying with while I'm in Colorado, treated me to a makeover this week. It was quite nice to be girly, in public, and have someone give me some tips on my makeup. Anyways, Donna told me it was a shame after the makeover just to take me home. So, I took some pictures and decided to post one on my blog to show you all my irresistable beauty. ;) And, it would be a shame to let a good makeover go to waste (remember guys, I'm still single!)

Well friends, it has been a restful week so far and also so full of just the real stuff of life. I wanted to just ask you all to pray for some real amazing friends of mine who are also walking through some real tough stuff right now. So, please get on your knees and say a prayer for these faithful ones:

1. Kendall and Andi Koens:
Kendall has been battling cancer since last spring and is recovering from his surgery to remove the tumor. However he's had complications including a collapsed lung and is on a trach. Please pray that he'd be able to be home without machines for Christmas.

2. The son of Jason and Adrienne Graves, Noah Steven.
This precious little boy has been in the hospital since he was 2 months old (over 4 months ago) and the doctors are still puzzled as to what is wrong with him. Please pray for his complete healing and for strength and wisdom for his family.

3. Hans Baumann and family. Hans is a dear, Christian man who was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia and is expected to go home to be with Jesus within the week. Please pray for his family and him as they face this time together.

And remember, especially in this Christmas season, that life is more than spending money or if you get the Christmas cookies done just right or the fact that your lights on your house don't quite look like your neighbor's. Life is fragile and it's a gift for us...and Jesus' birth here on earth was the greatest gift we could ever have received. Let's live as if that is that is the most significant thing this holiday season. The rest of it, is just dust.

are you kidding me?!

So, I'm in the airport on my way out to Colorado and have a few minutes to get on the internet (yeah for wireless internet EVERYWHERE!)

But, I could not believe my eyes...I walked through the concourse looking at all the decked-out stores full of nice expensive goods for you to scratch your consumerism itch. Then I decided to head to the bathroom and right next to the women's room I spied an ipod VENDING MACHINE!!! You simply choose your style of ipod, any color, any size and any of the attachments. Then you swipe your card and $300 later you have a new ipod waiting to be grabbed out of the vending machine.

What will they think of next? Just between you and me, I think Apple is secretly planning to take over the world...yikes, and I just sold my soul to them--maybe that's why I had to get that barcode tattooed on the back of my hand. ;)

Happy Birthday Jimmy

So, today would have been Jimmy's 16th birthday. All he could talk about for his birthday was going to a local hamburger joint and feasting on their 1 lb hamburgers! So, our family all headed out to eat hamburgers to remember Jimmy (as if we can forget!! I always think that's a funny phrase...we are gathered here to remember...It's almost all I think about! Maybe "honoring Jimmy" would be the correct phrase. kay, enough rambling.)

I hesitated even writing a new blog because I loved it that when I opened my blog the first thing I saw was his picture. So, if you haven't yet read it, scroll a bit down and read my "what's in a life" blog-a tribute to my brother James.

Tomorrow my dad and I set off for a cruise that we had planned throughout this last year. It seems so out of context for me to be setting off, and I feel almost reluctant to get on that plane. I've been told by countless people that it will be good for me and I should go so I'm just trusting them (and it's non-transferrable, non-refundable so if I don't go, no one goes.) I'm still a bit numb and overwhelmed that all the last few weeks has held. It seems so snobby to feel unappreciative of a fabulous cruise in the mediterranean, but I think it's not so much snobbiness as perspective. People spend everything trying to get to places like I've seen often running over their family or cutting out time with people to work more. I guess I've just been dealt a mighty load of perspective, and I know that all the trips in the world and all the stamps in your passport mean nothing compared to the people that God puts in your life be it blood relatives or good friends or even people you can't really stand. All of them were created by Him and are filled with the beauty of God. How many times do we blow by and mistreat the most precious treasures in our lives?

I visited my dear friend Kendall and his wife Andi in the hospital this weekend. Kendall has been battling cancer and just recently went through surgery and is now on a ventilator and walking through some intense "perspective-giving" times as well. (you can check out his story and status at: www.caringbridge.org/visit/kendallkoens). I left just with a great realization of how fragile life is and how flippantly I sometimes treat it. And it's often when it's taken away or drastically changed that we realize those things. Too bad it has to be that way.

Sorry this post is a bit melancholy but I'm pretty sure if you're reading this you can understand why. Every day I wake up and I ask God, is this the day when the pain will get less? I am tired of being so sad but know that it's part of the grieving and healing process. Someone asked if I was mad at God, and honestly I'm not. I'm confused. I, of course, have asked the "why" questions knowing that I probably wouldn't get any answers. I'm frustrated at the seeming injustice of it all, but I know without a doubt that God is standing with his arm around Jimmy waiting to welcome the rest of us home when it's our time. And I know that until that time, I walk daily in the care and the presence of a God who loves, who feels what I feel, and carries me when I don't have the strength for even another step. You can't be mad at a God like that.

What's in a life?

What can I tell you about my amazing brother James? He had the most gentle heart I think I've ever seen in a boy his age. He was the perfect mix of "becoming a young man" and still retained his child-like innocence. He loved to play with toy cars in the yard, even at 15! And yet he had a girlfriend and had thoughts and opinions on politics and world events. He could entertain himself for hours and yet could get along with pretty much anyone. At times he drove me crazy, at times he probably rolled his eyes at his crazy older sister. I miss him like crazy. I just wanted you all to know what kind of a person my brother was, and still is in my heart where I will hold his memory forever.

He had a blossoming and growing relationship with Jesus. My favorite treasure from him was a letter that he wrote and gave me before I headed overseas a year and a half ago. I had gotten good-bye cards and well-wishes from so many people but I opened his before I headed off on the airplane. He had included a Bible verse, simple and yet full of truth, just for me to take with me. I sobbed when I read it.

There is a definite "space" in my family without James. It's a space we will run into every day and hopefully the pain will fade as we enounter that space. Until then I will fill that space with lovely memories of him and the peace of knowing that he is in his true home, that his heart is truly at rest and he will be waiting to welcome the rest of us when our numbered days come to an end.

James' obituary

Funeral

The funeral for my brother will be held on November 9, Thursday at 1:00pm at Biwabik Covenant Church. If you are wanting to attend and need directions, please email or call me.

On my way home....

It's shocking how one moment in your life can change it forever. It's amazing how one event, one person can affect people around the entire world.

Just a few days ago while I was in Tajikistan I received information that my second youngest brother, James (or Jimmy to some) was in an accident and is no longer with us. My heart is broken and I miss my brother so very, very much. He had one of the most gentle hearts I had ever seen in a boy his age and I had so many dreams of what an amazing man he would grow to be.

However, he is with Jesus now and our family is mourning his loss.

Currently I'm in the Amsterdam airport and just about to set off on the last leg of my journey home. I'm about to experience "home" as I've never experienced it before, minus a dear brother that I love with all my heart. It's times like these that you realize what is really important in life and all else fades away. I'm looking forward to being with my family. These last few days have been so difficult grieving on the other side of the globe from them. My team is like a second family to me and they have been amazing in bringing comfort and praying with me. However, I cannot wait to embrace my family here in America and weep with them and remember James together with them.

Please pray for me as I not only go through this time of grieving with my family but as I am re-entering my culture so abruptly and having to go through some massive loads of reverse-culture shock at the same time. I walked past a shop today that was all decorated for Christmas and I just stopped and stared (and almost fell over when I glanced down at the box of chocolates in front of me that were priced at $80!). I haven't seen Christmas decorations for a few years! Back to the 1st world, to individualism and equality among men and women. Back to luxury and entertainment and way, way too many choices.

Greetings from Tajikistan!!

Well, after a series of many, many miracles I made it to Tajikistan with another teammate of mine. It's a long story but we didn't have tickets the day we were supposed to leave. So, we decided just to go to the airport and to see what would happen. The day before we called the airline and they said the flight was already overbooked. But, we got a seat on the plane and here we are!!

It's been so nice to have a bit of freedom...as you can see I'm not wearing my headscarf nor am I wearing clothes that cover my bottom, other than my jeans! :) It's great. They speak mainly Russian here in the city so I'm a bit out of it communication-wise but most people also speak Tajik as well. Dari is closely related to Tajik so I can communicate and get around, although this usually comes after I explain that I cannot understand Russian and can you please repeat what you just said in Tajik?!

We've been meeting with people all week and speaking with local groups and recruiting students for an upcoming school we are having. The doors are really open and much has been happening.

While we are not doing that, I've also gotten opportunities to do a bit of shopping, get a haircut, go to a restaurant and even do a little bit of dancing! These things are absolute luxuries for me. Amazing what little bit of freedom can be found just on the other side of a border! :)