"God is in control"....and other things Christians always feel the need to say

It's been a bit of a tough week for me. Not because tragic circumstances happened but mostly because the plans that I have been forming, praying over and hoping in where suddenly sidelined and my expectations of a few things had to be laid down.

I was frustrated. I was a bit panicked....mostly because one decision I make is usually connected and affected by about 20 others. My life revolves around visas and deadlines. Truth be told at this moment, I don't know which country my feet will be standing in come February of next year. That is an unsettling feeling, Right? I don't know how many people who read this blog live a lifestyle like that, but just by reading it in black and white, it makes me a bit dizzy, and even though being transient has become "normal" for me.

So, here I am. I am one who is supposed to teach and disciple people in the ways of God. I am to be a speaker and example of application of truth. And sometimes, life happens. Things change. Hard stuff comes. And in the quiet place between me and God in my heart I say to him "God, I don't like this. I am scared. I don't know what to do. I feel alone. I feel a little lost. Hold me."

......but process these thoughts out loud, and you know how it goes. I find myself as I say these things, trying to add a nice statement at the end to reassure people I haven't lost my faith, I believe the bible is true, and that I trust God is who he says he is. It's almost like it's not a thought worth speaking out unless it leads to that conclusion.....

i.e. I've had a really hard day, but God is faithful. I know he'll get me through this.
i.e. I don't know how things will work out but God is sovereign. I can trust him.
i.e. This is so painful, but.........

Now before the entire Christian population rises up and tells me "but it's true and we need to hear truth in these times" let me say.....YES, I don't believe these things are not true. I trust a sovereign God. This is why when life gets jumbled, I spend three hours in my room, in prayer, crying out to HIM and not sobbing on anyone's shoulders I can find.

But what is it in us, that feels uncomfortable or can't allow raw and honest emotions to be expressed, even if they aren't "pretty"? What if we just need to say "this sucks" or EVEN "this is sh**ty"? The more I read the Bible, the more rawness I see. Though many of the lament Psalms end with a praise to a sovereign God, they usually don't end with "but my emotions are all okay now." David still wants vengeance on those who hurt him. Job still wishes he had never been born, same with Jeremiah. Jeremiah tells God that there is not enough liquid in him for him to be able to weep the way he wants. Paul still walks around with a thorn in his flesh even though he has a promise of grace. Our savior still cries out that he is forsaken on the cross as he died in agony; he asked for the cup to be taken from him even knowing the will of the father and being committed to give his own life.

So, how do we respond to others when we are having a hard time or when they are walking through a difficult season? Do we throw "right theology" on them until they feel better? Do we hide behind the protection of God's sovereignty and pretend that we're not freaked out at the unknown a little bit? I think we Christians need to express honesty to one another and not feel the need to "tweak" ourselves. I'm not saying we just speak out unedited thoughts all the time, but I hope we have friends that we can be raw and truthful and will sit beside us, in all our mess, give us a hug, and offer it up to the throne of God without judgment or fear. God is big enough. He knows our doubts even as Christian cliches bounce off our tongues. He knows whether we speak those things in faith or insecurity. God is the one who changes our hearts. And our emotions are legitimately valid. They are important to God. Jeremiah tells the people to "pour out their hearts like water before the presence of the Lord." He wept for 40+ years before the Lord and we can feel free to do the same.

Let sleeping packs of dogs lie

6am....the sky was slowly emerging from pink to blue. I tied my running shoes and decided to venture out around the beautiful quiet streets of Chiang Rai, surrounded by rice fields, overshadowed by bamboo trees. So peaceful........except for the dogs.

I had asked about running around the area where the base is at. No one seems to have as much of an enthusiasm for pounding out miles on foot as I do, so most people had no idea what it was like to run here. I was informed that the dogs will sound and look scary but are mostly harmless. Great. (did I mention I was bit by a dog as a teenager and still get a little nervous around them?).

I decided to "test the waters." I grabbed my iPod and a STICK. This is the first time I've ever run with a weapon in my hand and hoped I didn't trip and gouge out my own side or something. I ran through the little streets, past a little morning market getting geared up with curious Thai faces peeking at me as I jogged by, I ran past little houses (many with gates, take that doggies!) and then I rounded a corner.......

oh, dear God. I literally prayed. A huge pack of dogs just sleeping in the road. I walked. I breathed. I tightened my hand around my stick. Sure enough.....the eyes opened, the barking began. A massive GANG of dogs arose from their sleep, and came after me, towards my ankles. I breathed. I tensed. I breathed. "hey doggies.....I'm sure my tiny little stick doesn't scare you at all does it???"

Thankfully, the people at the base are right. The dogs barked, but did little more than come to me out of curiosity. I continued on my way, past the temple (where they keep dogs as well, I found out) and rounded a corner and came across the most breathtakingly beautiful scene. One of those moments you can't capture on camera (but I sure did wish I at least had one. no luck this time). In front of me lay vast rice fields, spotted with a straw-hatted worker here or there, a few Thai-style houses, and green lush mountains blanketed in misty fog over the tops of it in the background. There was chanting wafting through the air...not sure if it was from one of the many little golden temples I could see or from a radio. But it was eerily beautiful. So. Beautiful.

On the way back I ran by two monks in their saffron robes, receiving alms from a couple in front of their house. They had already had a table set out with rice and some other things. They handed them to the monks into their outstretched bowls. They then sat down in front of the monks as they chanted and blessed them.

The dogs still freaked me out, but I know I can brave a few more early morning runs the rest of this week--the scenery, the peaceful countryside and intriguing cultural moments are definitely worth it. I might take my camera (and a bigger stick) next time I go. But I'll leave a few photos just to at least give you a little glimpse into the beauty here.

Rice fields

The view from the base

Life's Intersections

Living an international life and being a "traveling teacher" isn't always as glamorous and non-stop fun as it sounds, or looks. In the traveling and teaching I'm doing this year, I've realized it can have some very lonely moments for this single young woman. It's hard to get up motivation to go check out a cool restaurant or landmark by yourself, take photos and then post them on facebook or a blog just to be able to share them with someone besides....yourself.

But, this post is actually not about loneliness, it's really about the fact that people join us on our path that we are walking. What a blessing it is to have a companion by your side, if even for a short walk. My time in Central Asia was just that, coming alongside some people who at some points in life have climbed mountains with me. As we walked the short path this spring together, we recounted harrowing tales of heights and depths and praised God for all he had done.

Coming to Thailand, to teach, to have a lot of alone time to read and catch up on emails and blogs while the students study and the staff work in between teaching times, I also had the chance to spend a few days with friends. The beauty of working in the organization I'm in is getting to meet so many incredible people from all over the world. The difficulty is 9 times out of 10 and often even 10 times out of 10, you say goodbye to everyone you have the privilege to meet. We've referred to it as the "revolving door"....but I think revolving doors are fun and these goodbyes are not so fun.

I got to catch up with two people who were in the SBS last year, people of high caliber, devoted to Jesus and world mission, and both pursuing the passion of their hearts in a way that challenges me, encourages me and makes me want to get up in the morning and keep doing what I'm doing. I got to meet my friends' fiancé....a woman that he has loved so much that he's embraced her culture and language as his own. That's beautiful. I also got to see another friend who our lives crossed paths briefly in the mountains of Colorado oh, so long ago. And both of us have gone through ups and downs, life and even death sometimes keeping in touch and sometimes keeping silent, but our paths crossed once again and I got to meet his special love of his life as well. To rejoice together with them with all God is doing in their lives is also a special gift of this trip.

As a single woman in my 30's, traveling a lot, doing the "hello-goodbye" thing with so many people, I often fixate on the times my path is a solo one. Those long stretches of quiet can scream at you sometimes, accuse you of deeply painful things: worthlessness, inadequacy, etc. But I don't want to be a woman who becomes embittered at the loneliness, but rather one who drinks in the multi-faceted companionship that God enables me to have in the life that he has laid out for me. This trip has made me realize how truly blessed I am to have friends literally all over the world. To have the problem of not having enough time to hang out with the people as long as I want. I have more friends I am catching up with in the city I'm teaching in as well. How truly, truly good God has been to me, and continues to be.

To those of you out there who read this blog and our paths have intersected many, many miles ago....who knows, God will hopefully allow us to journey together again. For those of you who trod down life's daily path with me in today's season of life, your friendship is a constant blessing and one that may bring pain to leave one day but makes my life richer and your presence in my life is worth the fact that it's painful to say goodbye. Friendships are worth the risk of investing your heart into, I'm convinced of that.

The Power of Food

35 Days.
35 days without sugar. 35 days without wheat. 35 days without dairy.

I finished my cleanse on Tuesday. My digestive system was a train wreck from all the international visitors that had taken up residence in my body. I did a parasite cleanse and a big part of that is ridding the body of sugars and yeasts (candida) because this is what parasites primarily feast on. This cleanse has also taught me, it's also primarily what most people feast on as well!

This has been a great exercise in discipline and eating healthy. But it wasn't easy. I've discovered truly how sugar is IN. EV. ERY. THING!! Not just deserts and ice cream and candy. But in sauces that we cook meat in, soups, chips, crackers, everywhere. You can hardly eat anything that isn't from a fresh food market that doesn't have a boat load of sugar. It makes me understand why it's so difficult to lose weight. Sugar is sneaking in and sneaking in all day, every day in most of our diets.

The fun thing about making a change in eating is the emotional issues that come with it. I'm willing to bet if you ask most women and they were to answer honestly, a lot of us have food issues connected to our emotional issues. (For an honest woman's writing about this, do check out my friend Adrienne's blog). For me, I realize I use food to fill my down time, to think while I study, as an excuse to get together with friends, for indulgence after a hard day.

So, after all this, I'm feeling much, much better. My stomach isn't embarrassing me in public with all its gurgling noises. And I've come to some conclusions after this:

• eating healthy is worth the extra effort of planning, cooking for myself, and buying the right foods. 
• I'm going to think about what I'm eating before I put it in my mouth. 
• I don't need food to hang out with friends. 
• It's okay to say no to something, even if everyone else is enjoying it. 
• Fresh foods are the best foods....the outdoor vegetable market has become one of my favorite places. 
• my body is worth taking care of, and it's not impossible. 
• and I'm going to keep most dairy and most wheat out of my diet and try to stick to sugar primarily found naturally (fruits, stevia, agave, honey). 

And as an added bonus, I lost 10 pounds over the last 6 weeks and got a good start and motivation for my half-marathon training that I'm getting into right now. To reward myself for all of this, I bought new running clothes and enjoyed a banana, oatmeal, yogurt smoothie and a piece of dark chocolate! 

Hanging with the weeping prophet

In about 2.5 weeks I'm setting off to Thailand to teach the books of Jeremiah and Lamentations in their School of Biblical studies (I was able to buy my ticket thanks to some generous friends!). I taught the book last year  so it's been a good time to review and go a bit deeper into the book.

Some confession time: I am now a Bible teacher, but I have to admit for much of my Christian journey I've struggled with loving the Bible. I found it dry and bits of it pretty irrelevant to my daily life (how the heck do you get anything out of geneologies and lists of how to chop up meat in order to offer it as a sacrifice?!?). The book of Jeremiah was one that I never really gave a whole lot of attention to...maybe some parts like chapters 30-33 (also called the "book of hope"...one of the only parts of the book that takes a break from intense pronouncements of judgment to speak of restoration).

Actually spending time in God's word, putting the work in to wrestle with it, study it, meditate on it, process it and always, always inviting the Holy Spirit to give revelation has helped bring me to a place where I truly love God's word. I can't imagine how I was so apathetic towards it in the past. I know many of us struggle with it because this is one of the most frequent questions I hear from others...how do I study my Bible, how do I actually enjoy my time in the word? It takes work....and I'd start by asking God to give you a hunger for his word, and then putting in the discipline to get to know his word more. The more you know it, the more you'll love it. It's like a relationship with people. The more you get to know your friends, your significant others, the more you fall in love with who they are.

But I have such a delight and joy in the book of Jeremiah. I remember last year as I began to read and study it for the SBS here in Taiwan, God told me that he was going to challenge me very personally through this book, that he had something very significant for me.

I feel like this book brought life to me last year....and God really challenged me in the area of commitment, specifically in my commitment to the Afghan people, to dreaming God's dreams and not settling for my own, to being willing to count the cost and not just live life according to my own comfort.

....then he led me on a journey to India, allowed me to return to Central Asia and I am spending a whole year teaching his word, opening up opportunities for teaching nearly every week. And as I ponder what God spoke a year ago, I once again find him true to his word.

I have some upcoming news and plans God has laid on my heart. I asked my supporters to pray for me through this month and many have emailed back and given words God has laid on their hearts. Jeremiah's life is again challenging me to not just live a life without fear, without pain, without discomfort but to truly LIVE, to go for something that is bigger than myself, something to which God stepped into my life and offered an invitation. I'll be letting you know more in the next month, and inviting you to join me in this invitation....whether you come join me physically, help partner financially, partner prayerfully and grasping God's promises in the spiritual realm, or just making you aware of the things God is doing on the other side of the globe, I'm thankful to have others on this journey with me. Jeremiah had Baruch. And I'm thankful to have you! 

Too ambitious??....Getting back to the Classics

I'm a firm believer of taking a Sabbath rest....and not just a sun up to sun-down, holy journey where I sit in a dark room, fasting and praying. But a day of rest that is devoted to time with God and time rejuvenating my soul from all the obligation that the regular work-week presses in on. I leave work alone, I try to step away from the computer a bit (because I usually get tempted to work...yes, my name is Danika and I'm a workaholic), and I enjoy the outdoors, creation, maybe some time with friends. But I try to leave guilt, obligation and work out of the picture on my sabbath. It's a time to be me as God created me to be, to enjoy him and to REST.

So, last week and this week I've had to take my sabbath in the middle of the week because I've had teachings every weekend. The nice thing (and the agonizing thing for someone a bit extroverted) is everyone else is working these days so I have to make sure to have good boundaries and find things to do that I can do alone.

The last few weeks I've started reading some classic literature again. I know some of you may sigh or roll your eyes and think "what a nerd" to yourselves. And that's fine. I'm embracing my nerdiness as I grow older where I tried to hide it for so many years when I was younger.

I love the classics. I love the "meatiness" of the written word in many forms of literature. I love Greek tragedies, I love reading a line of poetry and feeling like you could roll it around in your mind for another 20 minutes and still continue to discover its meaning. I love that it takes time. And I love that much of our Western Literature has helped formed our Western worldview and yet we are blissfully unaware of it, until we read where it first began.

So, I've begun to read the Iliad and admittedly, I've had to look to Google for a quick refresher on the Trojan war and to figure out all the different names of the characters and who is human, who is a god, who is a child of a god or a nymph. Believe it or not, I've enjoyed that process and taken abundant notes. Yep. I truly am a nerd.

Then I came across this little gem: 10 Essential Classics in Western Literature. This is a recommendation of a booklist that every person should read as these are foundations of the western worldview. I have to admit, it's tempting to read through all of these. Though, I'm only 1/4 of the way through the Iliad so this could take some time.

What are you reading these days? I have to admit, it's easier to pick up The Hunger Games  than to pick up some great classic literature, simply for readability and disconnecting the mind, but when is the last time you challenged your brain and your soul just a little bit?

A month without sugar

I am a resident of the world. This year I've already put my feet in five different nations other than my home country and with this wonderful, adventurous privilege, I also get to partake of the abundant and diverse cuisine around our world. However with this privilege comes a bit of adversity.....the world soon becomes a resident of me in many different microscopic and parasitic forms.

I'll spare you the gory details of my last few years but suffice it to say, I've become an expert on parasitic symptoms in every day life and can identify a case of giardia from a mile away. After my travels this year, I've realized that I've had some new tenants that neglected to inform me that they signed a rental agreement with my intestinal track.

So, all this to say, this month I am doing a cleanse to rid myself of these tiny invaders and claim the territory that is rightfully mine. The cleanse I'm doing is one that was recommended by a homeopath that I knew back in Colorado and has been good for me before. But, it means no sugar, no dairy and no wheat for a month.

The sugar thing I'm discovering is quite difficult. In a world full of convenience foods and sauces and hidden sugars it's not easy to avoid and I'm finding that most of my cooking I have to do at home. (although Taiwan does provide other great healthy convenience foods like tea-eggs and baked sweet potatoes at the local 7-11!)

So here's one of my latest adventures and experiments: veggie smoothies. I've never gotten into the green smoothie thing but this one I saw and wanted to try--a carrot, ginger, avocado smoothie.

a bunch of carrots, half a large avocado, 1 small lemon, 1/3 inch fresh ginger, salt and cayenne,
water to cover the ingredients

It turned out to be pretty yummy--though next time I'd decrease the ginger just a bit, it can be overpowering and I went a little crazy with it. Also, I'd consider steaming the carrots first so they blend better (I don't have a juicer). And I'd add more avocado. But overall, a good adventure. 

Today is Day 6 without sugar (and dairy and wheat) and I'm feeling pretty good. But day 4 found me craving a mango like it was the only thing on planet earth to eat (I'm cutting out fruits except lemons/limes, fresh cranberries and granny smith apples because of their sugar content--which parasites feed on). I could picture me eating the mango, cool and juicy on that hot day...the juice running down my face. It was bad. 

Yesterday I kept imagining dark chocolate. 

But the adventure continues. I'm hoping my health will improve with this little full-scale attack on my intestines. They joys of international living. 

Dragon boat Festival

 This is my third year that I have been in Taiwan during the dragon boat festival, although this year was the first time I ever actually watched the dragon boat races.

So, a bit of a history lesson: this festival commemorates a famous patriotic poet Chu Yuan who drowned himself in the river when his home state was taken over by another. It was said people  raced to rescue him in boats and when they could find him, they threw zongzi (a rice dumpling wrapped in bamboo leaves) so the fish would eat those instead of the poet.

So, these traditions of boat racing and eating traditional foods are still practiced today. Also, I noticed people put up bunches of herbs on their doors in our apartment building this morning. Evidently, this time of year is important for protection from evil and disease so these healthy herbs are a part of securing that for the year to come.

 Today, I went with a bunch of friends from church to watch the races, and a number of people I know from church were also IN the races. So, it turned out to be quite the enjoyable event.

The teams all paddle to the beat of a drum that keeps them in sync with one another. The person on the extreme front of the boat is the one who reaches out and grabs the flag that is sitting in the water at the finish line ( you can see the girl in the photo below getting ready to secure the victory for their team)

I also learned that the person in the way back who steers the boat has to train for that for two years before being able to compete.

I was thinking watching this event a year or two ago would not have been as fun because I would not have known as many people or would have been able to actually cheer for a team that I knew.

Dragon Boat Festival in Danshui
Upon arriving in my city, Danshui, I was reminded that this festival is not just about a good time, cheering for friends and eating all kinds of fried foods and mango shaved ice-cream. There is a deeper, darker side to these days.

Danshui at the time of the Dragon Boat Festival also celebrates one of their major idols of the city. They march the idol around the city, setting off fireworks before it to clear the evil spirits away. Since I've been home, the sounds are similar to some I've heard in Afghanistan....pops and explosions, though these are all from firecrackers and fireworks exploding in the air, not bringing death to people, but an attempt to cause evil in the spiritual world to flee.

Pictured here is the idol in front of the people and the firecrackers being set off behind it as it is marched through the streets. 

But tomorrow a greater evil sets in on the city.....the streets will be filled with parades to worship the idols, performances in front of temples, but worst of all will be the many shamans who get themselves high and often becoming demon possessed, dancing around the streets and physically mutilating their bodies with instruments full of sharp razors or by poking steel rods through their cheeks and all sorts of horrific practices. This is a dark day in the city, one I usually head into Taipei for to escape some of the intensity.

But it reminds me, that we were all created for worship.
We are all created to express our awe and fear of something that is more powerful than us.

Some of are still looking for what that ultimate power is.

And as they look, they bend their knee elsewhere.

Embracing Freedom

While I'm here in C. Asia I've taken to running in the botanical gardens just down from the house I am staying in. It's 2 Somoni (about $0.40) for the entrance fee and in the morning it's me and the women who are sweeping the sidewalks clean. It's so beautiful. The air is fresh, I catch glimpses of the snow covered mountains around certain turns, peacocks wander freely and here I am, in my sweats and t-shirt, iPod with hip hop music pumping and I'm running....in C. Asia!

When I first moved to Taiwan from Af, everything seemed amazing. I could walk by myself. I could wear t-shirts. I could go out after dark. And so I did those things, I enjoyed them. I shared my excitement with others.

While I've been here, how could I not take advantage of the beauty and the freedom of being able to go running (btw, something I've NEVER done in C. Asia before so it was amazing!)

I've been studying the book of Hebrews to teach in the SBS when I get back. And I've been thinking about how often I take the gospel, the truth, my freedom in Christ for granted. It gets to be the same ol', same ol' thing. The readers of Hebrews were willing to throw their freedom away to go back to the law because it looked a little easier, a little less taxing on their day to day lives. But, they have beauty and freedom and hope at their fingertips. The grace and mercy of God.

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."(Gal. 5:1)
It's possible to walk away from freedom. It's possible for me to sit in the house, thinking how great it would be to run in a beautiful park but too scared to really step out and do it. It's possible for me to hold back from living free in Christ, submitting to a bunch of "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts"....it's possible to have the truth and never fully embrace it in my life.

Oh that we may live free in Christ, embracing our identity as ones who are loved and redeemed, freely sharing how amazing that freedom is with others.

Teaching Prep--Titus-style

So, I've been in the blogging mood but haven't felt like I have too much that's interesting to talk about...then I found that quite ironic because I'm in the middle of a blitz of teaching prep just arriving back from India and just about to head out to C. Asia. There's lots to talk about, but teaching prep just doesn't feel all that, well social or sharable.

So, this is what I've been doing for the last week and a half and will continue to do for the next two weeks! Yeah for studying and teaching prep. It's been quite the shock to go from an intense, people-filled time to sitting at home, or in coffee shops or at a classroom, typing and praying and studying and thinking and writing and planning and well, introverting.

But, my time with Titus Project has really helped me grow as a teacher, I believe. For one, it's immensely helped me to understand how I best prepare to teach. Before I'd just type up bulleted teachings, sometimes word-for-word, because that's what I thought you did, then I'd print them out, scribble a bunch of notes from them, and then either never look at them when I teach or get completely lost while I teach.

I've discovered the art and joy of mind-mapping and have been experimenting with it to teach and also plan my schedules. I've realized color and space to add things freedom to draw pictures rather than write detailed points has helped me teach better and more creatively. Teaching prep has always been something I've done only because I had to, and half the time I ended up relying on my abilities to ad-lib and to think on my feet.

This is my teaching schedule for a D-school that I will be teaching in this
 next month. I was pretty proud of my "note pad" to write my to-do list on
 the right side. 

This is an example of mind-mapping my teaching for an overview of the
Inductive Method. This is a 45 minute teaching which fits nicely on
one sheet of paper. I taught from this one while in India. 

So, if you're reading this and not bored out of your mind yet, please do pray for me as I prepare. I have a number of different groups of people I'll be teaching over a period of about 5 weeks. I want to make sure I'm catching God's heart for each group as well as offering them what they need to be even better equipped and to have a deeper understanding of the word of God. So, pray that as I prepare, God would speak and lead and that I'd not be distracted but able to focus and follow through with all the preparation that needs to be done.

And....that there would be some space and time for some social activity. Otherwise, I just get weird if I spend too much time alone. 

YWAM Taipei

This video gives you a great look into what goes on here in Taiwan and what we are doing here to connect with things God is doing around the world. Please take a few minutes to watch, and also to pray for the ministry and the workers here. 

Return to Oz....or a look inside my emotional nostalgia

This might be a bit of a random post....and being that it's past my bed time and I've been a bit reflective and introspective lately, it doesn't seem so random after all, to me. But you, dear reader, may feel cast into my sea of nostalgia and contemplation. Don't worry...just keep swimming and hopefully you'll stay afloat and make it to shore.

So....confession time. The movie "Return to Oz" is one that I actually think about quite a bit. I was a huge Wizard of Oz fan...I watched it on TV every year when it came on, hiding my eyes from the flying monkey scenes, wondering what it really feels like to have to have my jaw oiled by a tin can, and wondering why Dorothy is often so moody about her family stuff when it really doesn't seem that bad.

But, Return to Oz is just weird. I loved the "real" movie so much and when I first saw this movie, I was a bit crushed. Crushed because the anticipation of being able to return to Oz compared to both the quality of the movie and the experience of the characters was just so dark, so dreary, so bizarre. And I think I often have a cynical look on things in the same way as this movie experience.

Let me elaborate....for example, my elementary school was just torn down this last year. I watched the pictures people posted on the Internet and felt a deep sadness in my heart. The memories I have were so alive in my mind and in my emotional connection to that place. There are stories that I still tell people about that time in my life that are all intertwined in that building. But the photos showed a place so drastically different. Dark, depressing, bizarre even. It didn't seem anywhere near as close.

I think sometimes I fear seeing places and even people grow and change, my experience of them the first time was so rich and I'm afraid that return is going to be as shocking to me as it was to the characters in the Return to Oz movie, and to the viewer experiencing the movie.

Where am I going with this??? I sound like I'm just running away from reality and living in an idealistic dream world.

Well, no....but I have been processing a few things lately and I'm letting you in some of it. First....let's talk about my own return to Oz. But my return was to the Taj Mahal.

 I came here seven years ago (wow...time flies!) at the beginning of a trip a friend and I took to India from Kyrgyzstan a few months after the tsunami in 2005. We came to help out a ministry in Chennai and stopped in Agra on the way. Through a series of naive decisions on our part, we ended up getting taken advantage of by a tour company and our guide for the day brought us here 45 minutes prior to its closing. We ran around (literally) snapping photos. We thought we'd be geniuses and trade cameras so all the photos I took had him in them and all the ones I took had me......then I was mugged the DAY I returned to Kyrgyzstan and all those photos, the ones with me all in them were gone. Forever. My friend only had the ones I took, of him, on his camera.

 So, here I am, with real documented proof that I was at the Taj Mahal again. The experience however, was quite the opposite of the frantic disappointment of the drama of the first time. This time I got to stare at and admire this incredible structure and dialogue with friends about the incredible waste of money this is on a dead woman, etc. etc. But, oddly, as I was walking around this place, I had a moment of connection with God.
I was looking at all this, remembering my previous experience and those last seven years of life flashed before me. I thought of how rich my experiences have been since this time....people pay money to come to this place as a once in a lifetime experience and here I am for the second time, and I've seen and done things that far surpass even this great experience. I thought of how much I've grown since I first arrived here. I had an emotional breakdown at the end of that day in 2005 feeling lost and helpless with all the events that happened, and I realized if the same thing happened again I would know exactly what to do and how to handle it....I even had friends I could call who could help me out.

This bench (in the photo to the right) is where I sat and had my break down the first time as our tour guide had abandoned us, only to return 2 hours after he said he would with alcohol on his breath. Life came full-circle. I am a better person because of all that transpired over these last seven years. I've matured, experienced things, grown, made mistakes, laughed and cried, been hurt and hurt others, been humbled and had joy in so many moments. God as truly been good in my life.

So my return to Oz, to the Taj Mahal, was not a disappointment, but a deeply rewarding experience. It made me overwhelmingly thankful for the journey of life God has set me upon and who he has molded me and shaped me into in the process.

And I have another upcoming "Return to Oz" encounter. It's been over two years since I moved away from Central Asia. I miss it deeply. I have fond memories and stories and stories that I tell others and people that I miss having a part of my every day life that really are like my family from our experiences together. I left a large chunk of my heart behind in this land and with the people there.

I didn't realize it until I started processing and focusing on this upcoming trip that I'm a bit nervous to return. I know things will be very different. For one the office as it was when I was there is pretty much gone. The team and the work has moved locations. People have come and gone and things have moved on.

I'm also a bit nervous about returning to one of the other "stans" I will be visiting because the last time I was there was when I received the phone call that my brother James had died. That place is intrinsically connected to that tragedy in my own life.

I know I can't be a cynic and neither can I be overly idealistic. I'm SOOOOO excited and so thankful for this upcoming trip and hoping that just as God opened my eyes to see all he's done in my life during my visit to the Taj Mahal, that this will be a deeply meaningful trip on so many levels as I return to my own Oz at the end of this month.

Stay tuned...

Incredible India

I first stepped onto Indian soil seven years ago. Before I came that first time a friend of mine told me that everything you never expected or thought you could see you will probably see in India. She was right. India is a place of intensity. The culture is aggressive and vibrant in all its various outlets...the food is spicy, the colors are bright, the language is loud and never seems to pause between sentences. The traffic is constant, the people are piled and packed and squeezed together, the sun beats down with ferocity, the gods are innumerable, the poverty is overwhelming, and the daily experiences are unpredictable.

When I first came to India, I left with this thought in my mind, "Oh God, I'm so thankful I'm not called to India." I laugh now because God has brought me back to this land a few times and each time, my heart is more and more opened to this place and its people. There is an incredible open door here to work with Afghans. As I've been here in India this time, my experience hasn't been one of just trying to breathe in the midst of the culture shock I was undergoing, but this time I feel at ease and have been able to enjoy and learn and appreciate so much of India. I've made friends, not just "dealt with" people. And many days I've had this feeling like I was quite at home.

I think often times it's the people that make a place and an experience. This trip was not an exception to that. We have met and shared our lives with some incredible people who are living for the Lord here. Afghans, Iranians, Indians from all over the sub-continent, westerners, business people and ministers. Moms and teenagers, pastors and lay people. This has made this trip. We came here to serve and bless. I believe we did that to the best of our abilities. But the people also blessed and taught me so incredibly much.

 This trip to India has opened my eyes in many ways. Delhi is a metropolitan place where people from many nations take up residence and put down roots or reside until they move on to the next place. It's a meeting place of cultures and nations. It's at the intersection of major empires from the past and it's a gate and a hub for many trying to escape a difficult life or searching for a better one.
I also have had my eyes opened to the hunger and the need for truth in this place. Churches and individuals are hungry to feast on God's word, and some just don't know the best way to pick it up and ingest it. The tools that we were able to off through Titus project sometimes felt small in the sea of needs but the individuals that we were able to spend time with I know God touched and challenged and spoke to during the time here. This makes it all worth it. We will leave this place, not just having entertained or had a good experience ourselves, but others have encountered God and will continue to after we are gone.

So India has proven to be an unexpected delight and joy. Our original plan never included India, but God led our team step by step to this place and I stand at the end of it amazed at all the beauty that it has revealed.

Before we left for our outreach, we had a prayer time and someone gave us a word that God wasn't giving us Plan B but his plan was always Plan A. This was a promise we held on to this entire time as our locations, contacts and time of ministry all changed even up until the last minute we left. God knew what he was doing even when we (I!!) couldn't see it.

 And though the sun is setting on this short season of our outreach, I believe there is another sun rising in my heart for things for the future. I sense God just asking me to return to Taiwan to finish well and to seek him there. I believe more of that plan will be revealed in this upcoming year, but it's exciting to me to know that God is in control and he has some open doors and plans to continue to reach Afghans, Muslims and many others with his Word and to encounter Jesus Christ.

And of course, this trip would not have been the incredible experience it was without my team. God blessed me with being able to share two months with these people who love the Lord, who are willing to serve and who teach with passion and authority. I have been challenged and sharpened by each one of them and they have shown me so much of God's heart over these last two months. I could endlessly brag about them. I'm just thankful for their friendship and that we got the privilege to serve in ministry together here in this incredible land. 

What does Jesus see?

Here I am, sitting at the end of my day, reflecting on all it held. There were great people to meet and spend time with, times of worship and preaching, times of laughter and fellowship, food and shopping. And yet there is a moment that sticks in my mind that I find myself going back to at the end of the day.

My friends and I were at a stoplight riding in the back of an auto rickshaw in the late afternoon of the day. The traffic is whizzing by, in and out. The horns are endlessly honking and humanity is ev.ery.where. Out of the corner of my eye, across the intersection I see a small child. She is standing in the middle of the median, holding a plastic bag and scooping garbage into it. The small girl has no pants on, wild tangled hair, and is covered in dust. I look around at me. The cars continue to whizz by, the men try to sell us various goods at the red light. People wait for the bus, hail an auto rickshaw, go about their business.

I've been thinking about Jesus a lot. I guess when you teach the Bible, this is the joy and perk of the job. I often wonder what it is that Jesus sees, that touches his heart, that I often walk by and don't give any attention to. I wonder as God sees each hair on every person's head, even the wild mess of a mane this little girl has, what does God see in her that I gaze past, as soon as the light turns green and I carry on the normal course of life and never think about again? And how, in the seas of millions of people, can I go deeper in God's heart for the lost, the poor, the broken, the hurting and the shamed? 

Ni hao, Salaam, Namaste, Hello....from India!

So, call me an idiot, but I had no idea there were as many people groups as there are in Delhi. It's a collision of the world, a traffic jam of ideas, thoughts, religion, hopes, dreams, fatalism and existentialism, experience and thought...body soul and spirit trying to find their greatest good. Delhi is like the intersection of the world where everyone comes with their own mode of transportation and tries to make their way in the world.

I've been to Delhi probably 4-5 times but most of the time I was passing through, on my way somewhere else. This is the first time I've stopped, smelled the roses (among piles of garbage I guess) and spent more time with people. My initial impression on my previous trips was not so positive...I have stress-filled memories from those times and the only gifts I took away were parasites and numerous trips to the bathroom. My heart is much changed. Delhi has proven to be a place of possibilities, where God's spirit is moving and working, where people's lives are being transformed and truth CAN be found.

Our team arrived three weeks ago. From the time I started planning this outreach just in prayer and with an idea to this time, I feel like every step I take gets a little bit redirected. This has proven to be true of this whole outreach as we are not going to be continuing on to Central Asia as we had originally planned. But, God's opened up the door for ministering here. We have had opportunities to teach, preach, lead Bible Studies, pray for people, share the gospel a bit, and experience the many flavors and varieties of life that India has to offer.

We have spent most of our time with the Afghan people. I have to say, I have been near to tears many days seeing the realization of some personal prayers and dreams of mine become a reality right in front of my eyes. My stomach has been blessed with great Afghan food once again and I'm still convinced Afghan hospitality is the best in the world. And the friendships that have been formed just in these first three weeks, have the potential to be life-long friends. One thing that amazes me about times of outreach is as much as you step out to be a blessing, to serve others, to build others up, God has poured back into my life many times that. Today as a number of Afghan women laid hands on me and prayed blessings over me in their own language, I felt so humbled and blessed that God would call ordinary Danika from a tiny little town in Northern Minnesota, and send me half way around the world to a culture and people so completely different from my own and allow me to feel at home and see the Kingdom of God grow and blossom. I am one blessed woman.

So, here are some photos from my trip so far...to give you a taste of what I've been doing. Many of our times with the A people cannot be posted here so know there is a side of this trip where even more treasure and great times have been had but will not be included on this blog.

teaching prep in the cold of the morning....but with a hot cup of chai! 

Becca, myself and Aimy...the powerhouse women of our team

Preaching in a Hindi-speaking church

Lindsay, who is graciously allowing us women to stay in her home--a great new friend

Preparing Bible Overview teachings at the coffee shop....this is how I spent my birthday! 

Bible Overview teaching

Pilau....so good to eat Afghan food once again! 

So, what does God have in store next? We still have 5 weeks left here in India. Our plan is to travel and teach in a few different places, to build into those relationships we've already made, and to seek God for more opportunities to minister to the people here. My heart is so full on this trip...in many ways, I feel right at home and there are definite open doors for the future should I choose to walk through them. This will be a year of decision for me as to the path that lies ahead so if you think of it, please pray that God would direct me step-by-step and give me wisdom as I consider all the options to invest in both now on this trip, and in the future.

Rock-buzz

I really love people. I love getting to know their stories, to hear about their lives and to share mine. I love it when two people start to connect on a heart level and we get into the real "meat" of life...the raw, open honest things of the human experience.

Thursday evenings you can find me at this place above...The Rock Coffee Bar in the city I live in. This place is the center of a lot of our work and ministry here. It's an English speaking coffee house where people can come in, get a free cup of coffee and have conversation. The goal is to have a place where you can have conversation about Jesus without having to brave walking through the door of a church, which many people would never even consider.

Most Thursday evenings I come home with a "Rock-buzz"....I love the fellowship, the challenge and the excitement of what these evenings bring. I never really know who will show up, what we'll talk about and what the response will be.

This evening was one of my favorite kind of evenings...I got to see familiar faces and invest in relationships that are continuing to go deeper. I also got to meet new friends and see friends that I hadn't seen for awhile. There's talk of times to get together, times to study the Bible together, and times to just have fun together. And Jesus is the passion that I am able to speak of openly. This ministry is such a blessing and I love seeing how God uses it to reach people where they are at, challenge them to consider and follow him, and a place where people can talk about "real stuff." It's one of those evenings where I just take a moment and realize, I love what I do. I'm so blessed that this is the life I get to live. And I was just so excited I wanted to share my moment of excitement with you. May God continue to reveal himself more and more to the people of Taiwan.

Meet the team!

The last few weeks have been spent sitting in a classroom, talking about things like learning styles, team dynamics, reaching oral communicators, how to prepare a lesson, teaching through a translator and listening to many different practice teachings from those who are in the training time. The five of us (pictured from L to R: Julien, Becca, Danika, Aimy, Timmy) have had a number of team meetings to plan our teaching times, better understand one another and to learn more together about the nations we will be connecting with.

It has been two years since I have really interacted with the A people and my heart misses them. I'm excited to take a group of people to be able to pour into and build up these people, equipping them to live lives for God that give him glory and strengthen their faith.

As we prepare to leave, I'd invite you into our preparation process. Would you please commit to praying for us, for the teaching that we will be giving, for the people we will be serving, the contacts we will be working with, and just that in the middle of all of it, we would enjoy God and grow in him and together in relationship. Please also pray that the rest of my ground fees would come in. I'm still in need of (on top of my regular monthly support) another $500USD. My team's finances are mostly in as long as their monthly supporters also continue to give as they have committed. Praise God for how he's opened the door for this trip financially, with the contacts we'll be working with, and all the details that have come together.

Just to rave about this team a bit....each one of them will be returning here to Taiwan to staff and teach. They are all incredibly mature and each uniquely gifted. We have people from France, Egypt and USA and all of us have been involved in ministry to some degree in the past. I'm seeing we all really enjoy spending time together and are very relational with the people around us so I hope that continues to be the trend as we will have lots of time together and meeting with people over the next two months.

Teaching on Cross-Cultural Ministry

Culture....
Something we may not deliberately think about, but it affects us every single day.

Culture is a normal part of my life.

I live in Taiwan. The last 6.5 years of my life I've been primarily in Asia. I know how to say hello and thank you in countless languages. I have friends on and from every single continent of the world and I feel like nearly any country I go to I would at least know someone who knows someone from that place. I have had the privilege to experience the joys and challenges of working in cross-cultural work for nearly 10 years now. I've made cultural blunders, and also known the feeling of learning something in a culture and because of it, connecting to the heart of another person. I love it.

Yesterday I got to teach on Ministering Cross-Culturally in our Titus Project class. And as I prepared and yesterday as I taught, I'm just so thankful. I'm so thankful for the variety of people that God created. For the nationalities and cultural beauty that he used to paint the canvas of the world. How very boring and ordinary the world would be if we all looked, acted, talked, and thought the same. God is definitely a God who loves diversity, creativity, variety and beauty.

And to my friends who live all over the world, speak any number of languages, have customs so very different from my own, I truly appreciate you and what you have contributed to my life. I feel I have become a richer person because of it.

Teaching on High and Low Power Distance in all our different cultures

Titus Project Begins

 Wednesday morning, 28 participants and 9 staff members started meeting together to learn what it means to be a teacher, how to be a more effective teacher and how do we all take our 9 months of Bible training and put it into a format that others can benefit from and utilize themselves.

This is a great group of students. Many of them have long-term vision to work here in Taiwan and in many other places around the world.

At the end of our three week training time, outreach teams will be headed all over the world to train and equip churches and church leaders all over Asia. This year we have teams in Mongolia, Japan, Taiwan, Bangladesh, India, and in two other locations that can't be listed here due to security. If you are reading this, please take a few minutes to pray for these teams as well as the believers in these locations that they will be blessed and built up and better equipped to minister to others.

My team has been meeting together and our teaching time is slowly unfolding. One prayer request is that in one of our locations, there is a great movement of new believers and young leaders being trained up. We want to work with this group but due to security we have been unable to find a place to actually meet and do teaching together. Please pray that a place will open up that we could help equip these guys as they are standing for truth in a place where Christianity is not welcome.

Also, we purchased our tickets to our first location in India! What has been just a far off thought and plan is slowly becoming a reality.

For more information on Titus Project you can check out the website

2011 Reflections

New Year's Eve and all is well. 2011 is fading into history, and 2012 looms in front of us all. I love this time of year. I love new beginnings. I've always loved starting something new....a new project, visiting a new place, starting a new school, meeting new friends. Not that I despise the old, but the new really get's my imagination rolling and all the possibilities get me excited.

But I want to take a few moments and just reflect on this past year, the highlights that made it a great year to remember. This year was one of stability in the fact that the only places I traveled was home to visit family. I remained in Taiwan from January through the beginning of November....this is the longest time I've remained in one place since I joined YWAM....nearly 10 years ago! Staffing SBS challenged me and blessed me in so many ways. I was able to deepen friendships that began when I came to Taiwan, said goodbye to friends, and met new people.

The year began in the snowy wonderland of Minnesota on vacation but was interrupted a bit abruptly by a visa crisis in Taiwan and I had to return early in order to take care of my visa. This began a number of long hours helping with visas this year. God worked a number of miracles to help keep me and others in this country I learned so much this year. And I'm convinced visas are the most faith-building endeavors, no matter where in the world you are.


Staffing SBS

Studying the Bible has been one of the best things I've ever pursued and being able to staff the school of Biblical Studies was an incredible opportunity to go through the Bible again and learn and grow with other staff and students. As with every school it presented it's own challenges, ups and downs, sleepless nights, tearful moments and many laughs and hugs and deep conversations. Most of the people I worked with this last year will be staffing next year as well so we have an opportunity to go deeper and grow and learn and improve.

Enjoying my 30's
I know many milestone birthdays can be scary. However, I've been amazed at how much I've been enjoying being in my 30's. Making decisions hopefully with more wisdom and less compulsiveness. Discipling younger men and women out of what I've learned and seen in life, and enjoying friendships with people of all ages. I've just been really thankful for this season of life



Studying and Teaching the Word
There are so many days when I have this moment of realization and think to myself, THIS is my job! I spend most of my days reading God's word, speaking about him, counseling others in knowing his word better and talking about what we are learning. This season has been such a blessing in really cementing a foundation of truth in my life. For much of my life I secretly found the Bible a bit boring and dry and after SBS and now even more being able to teach, God's word has become so alive and so fresh and so relevant in ways that I never expected it. I feel as though I discover something new nearly every day.
I was able to teach a lesson on Figures of Speech in the SBS, shared an hour during the book of Acts on Pioneering, taught the book of 2 Timothy to the DTS, and taught Psalms, Exodus, Jeremiah and Lamentations to the SBS here in Taiwan.  One huge thing I've been seeing is how God so perfectly orchestrated history and it's events to point us to our need for salvation from our sin and it all pointed to Jesus. He has always intended to be in relationship with us and did everything possible to make that happen.

Teaching English and Making new friends
Each week I work at our coffeeshop having English conversation with local students and helping with the Advanced English class. I've been able to deepen friendships, pray with people, share the gospel and really get to know more about Taiwanese culture and life through the people I've met. This has been a huge blessing to be a part of and get to know some amazing people. Pray for more fruit in this upcoming year.

Running
This year I was able to do a 5k with my mom, run a 10k on Thanksgiving Day and then ran my second half marathon here in Taipei. There is a great group of people here that loves running and working out together so it's been great motivator this year. Next year my goal is to get in even better shape and really invest in my health.

 Time with Family
This year has been incredible in that I got to see family all throughout the year. My grandma and Dad came to Taiwan to visit me....my first visit since I moved overseas 6 years ago! I was home over Thanksgiving and just relaxed with everyone. My niece Alexee is growing so quickly and I got some Auntie Danika time with her. I am so blessed by these people.

Looking ahead to 2012

I'll be continuing here another year in Taiwan. I recently moved to a new apartment so it feels like a whole new beginning full of possibilities. I'll be staffing SBS again but before that I'll be leading a Bible teaching team to India and central Asia. I'm looking forward to being able to merge three of my passions: the Bible, teaching, and central Asia into one. 

I'll be teaching the book of Hebrews in May in our SBS, a book I'm greatly looking forward to studying and getting to know more. I'm also hoping to do some traveling and teaching this year and will be making more of those plans as the year unfolds. 

So, here's to a great 2011 and anticipating a fantastic 2012!

What have been the highlights of your year?? What are you anticipating this next year??