Remember what you learned

Ever "cram" for a test? I'm excellent at that....I can study and memorize then spit information out on to a piece of paper and really feel like I have a good grasp of the material. Then ask me about it next week, next month and it's a blurry memory.  How do we maintain what we "know"? Since I've really got into teaching, for me the things that stick the most are what I pass on to others, and those things that have poignant life lessons attached to them.

This has been a testing season to say the least. I moved back to my home country where I haven't lived for eight years. That is challenging whether you may be aware of it or not. I transitioned out of a ministry that I've been working with for eleven years. I have been looking for a job for nearly five months now and have been without consistent financial support for two months. And the greatest challenge is maintaining a very long distance relationship while planning our wedding which has the risk of having to be rescheduled if my fiancé's visa has any glitches.

I know there will be a time when I look back on all of this and see the 20/20 hindsight perspective. I'll see how it was all woven together for my good and how each thing that did or did not happen would turn out to be a blessing. But right now I stand in the unknown. Right now I'm in the thick of it with 10 days to a wedding I'm not even 100% sure will happen on that day.

But I've learned. And, oh, how these lessons didn't come easy. I wanted to put some things in writing before this season whisks away and dissolves into the next and I forget the poignant things written into my soul.

1. God is trustworthy.
As a student and teacher of the Bible, a committed Christian and a woman who has given my life to serving God, you would think this would be a given piece of information. This simple truth has been tested to the max and I am ashamed I spent far too many days in tears wondering if this was in fact true. When job after job faded out of my grasp. When delay after delay happened in Roy's visa. When day after day went by and I am still facing reverse culture shock and asking if I truly heard God right because the journey in front of me feels so difficult and at times impossible. But God's character stands above circumstances. I don't know why I still don't have a job (and believe me, it's not for lack of trying or experience or education). I don't know why Roy and I have spent seven straight months apart. I don't know why it seems he will only arrive here two days before the wedding. But what I DO know is that none of those things makes a dent in God's trustworthiness. His plans are not our plans. His best is not always what I think is best. That challenges can be far better for me in the long run than ease and comfort. God is trustworthy. Even if we have to change the wedding. Even if we have to live with family and work odd jobs for awhile. Even if another circumstance comes our way. God is trustworthy. I don't ever want to forget that.

2. Marriage is far more important than any wedding/wedding detail.
I now know why the "bridezilla phenomenon" happens. It makes sense. And it's been a tempting reaction. The entire wedding industry sells you this fact that you can and indeed should have the wedding of your dreams and every detail can be perfect. (as long as you're willing to pay for it of course). You are paraded through this list of expectations and then if that isn't overwhelming enough, they tell you that because you are a unique couple you can break any one of those expectations and do whatever you want because it's YOUR wedding and you are the princess and you rule for that day. Self, greed, pride, reigns on your wedding day and you have every right for that to be so.
But really, if my groom makes it here, the church could burn down, no one could show up, the food could be foul, the music like nails on chalkboards, my dress stained or ruined and as long as I say "I Do" and make a covenant before God (and at least one witness!) then our marriage has begun. And that is a beautiful thing. Roy and I have had the clarity of seeing that at the end of the day, if him and I are together, THIS is what matters. The rest is insignificant and fades into a list of memories. Our relationship endures.

3. Money is not the most important thing (though it is needed in life).
I believe the teachings of the church on money often leave Christians confused. We are told money is not to have any power over us. We are never to bow to money, make it our idol. And yet the simple fact remains, we need money. Money provides us with food. It takes care of our bills.....without it we could go to prison for never paying our taxes or ignoring our medical bills or end up homeless for not paying our rent. We do NEED it. But it is not to be the all-consuming power of our lives. That's a fine balance to walk, which I think always leads us back to our God as our ultimate provider. I have been without a job for five months. My financial support dwindled and was finished two months ago. At each moment I needed it I got either a temp job for a week or two or a phone call or a check from someone who wanted to help us with the wedding. I've had to cut back. I've stopped going out to eat or doing "extras." The only things I've purchased are things needed for the wedding or groceries. We need a job. But money is not the most important thing and cannot dictate my life, our lives. Roy and I don't know financially what lies ahead for us. We both need jobs. But we know that God is our provider and will make a way....either through opening a door for us to work, or sending the ravens while we sit by the stream as he did with Elijah. What we do have, we don't want to hoard or keep back but still continue to be generous and wisely take care of the necessities.

4. Communication is a priceless gift in relationships
A long distance relationship basically has to be built on communication. Thats about all you can do over the phone. It's hard to watch a movie together, to do a puzzle, to go out to eat, to hang out with a group of friends, to hold hands or watch a beautiful sunset. When you are in a long-distance relationship, you connect and then you talk. Because of that, our relationship has been forced to have a bedrock foundation of communication. We have talked about it seems like everything. We talk twice a day. We have read books together. And then we have talked about them. This is a priceless treasure. Good relationships have good communication. Not just dating/engaged/married relationships, but friendships and family. I have learned to value open communication in a new way over this last year.

5. A job is not your identity
This has been a lesson that has been years in the learning. What we do often stems out of who we are. We seek something where we can exercise our strengths and gifts. Where we can learn and face challenges that we enjoy. But what we do is not the sum total of who we are. Easy to say when you are doing something you love. A whole lot harder to believe when you are sitting day after day, filling out job apps, having to answer peoples' questions about what you do with "well, I did this for awhile and now I'm looking for some new opportunities." I've doubted myself. I've doubted my worth. I've doubted that all my experience was valuable. I doubted the path that I took in the pass because it didn't lead me to (what I imagined would be) "success." And when those moments came I realized that I was wrapping myself in the identity of job (or lack thereof). When I worked a temp job where I was treated like the office gimp, I had to remind myself that I had so much more to offer than the people around me assumed. When applying for jobs I knew I was qualified for and yet didn't receive, I had to remind myself that it wasn't because "I wasn't enough." Those are hard lessons. The job seeking season is brutal on the soul and punches your identity in the face. I definitely will have a lot more grace and compassion for those walking through that season in the times to come.

Well, this has been a very personal blog post, but I hope something God has taught me in this season could be a lesson for you....or at least that we can nod our heads and say, "yeah, that's true" together. Our journey is always an opportunity for God to teach us something new or deepen our understanding of something we already know.

So what have you been learning in your season of life? I'd encourage you to pass it on. Or to at least write it down so you can come back to it in the seasons ahead. 

One foot in front of the other: Seeking God's direction in the midst of uncertainty

Needless to say, walking the journey of life can have its confusing moments. These last few months or so have been no exception. Roy and I knew that making a relationship work across a very long distance and waiting for visas so we can be together would be no easy task. The daily reality of that though, has been eye-opening and faith-challenging.

We have been in the continual process of making wise decisions with planning our wedding and future. We have sought counsel, talked together, come up with multiple options and paths to take, and above all got on our knees and sought God in prayer.

All of us want clear direction. We want to know that when we take a step forward, make a really big decision, that the general outcome is going to be positive. We may even want specific details of how the situation will unfold: a time frame, a response from others, that dream job, or the house finished just the way we were expecting, the plans to come together exactly how we researched and planned. And yet the reality of life is that things change, plans fail and sometimes, we can never anticipate the outcome or the twists and turns along the way.

I've been reading in the book of Isaiah over the last few months. Isaiah is a book that really shows God is a God who can be trusted. I've needed the message of this book as many moments along my most recent journey I've questioned, "The circumstances are difficult. Is God really coming through?" It's revealed the areas of doubt in my heart that my head-knowledge just couldn't hide for too long. But in Chapter 30 of Isaiah, God calls out the nation of Israel for trusting in foreign powers (i.e. Egypt) to protect them. They make their own plans but they are not necessarily God's plans. He tells them that "In returning and rest shall you be saved; in quietness and trust is your strength." (30:15) When I'm facing uncertainty, the last thing I usually am is quiet and restful.....He then tells them if they return to him and trust him that "And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left" (30:20-21) In the middle of uncertainty, this sounds like a breath of cool relief and peace, to hear the one in control direct the way and guide the path.

But what about those moments when you're not in rebellion, just traveling the path and you're uncertain..."am I going right, or left or is this still the way I am to walk?"

About a week ago, Roy and I got the news that his visa interview was scheduled for AFTER our intended wedding date. While a wedding date is not impossible to change it is VERY, VERY much a hassle. We decided to see if we could get an earlier date, he called the embassy and I called the Minnesota US Senator. We waited and we got an earlier date....one that would put Roy here a day or two before the wedding IF everything goes absolutely flawless. We had a decision: go ahead with the intended date, or change the wedding before people finalize tickets and travel plans. Stressful times.

I took off for a walk in the woods to clear my head and just have it out with God in the semi-privacy of nature. Living in Duluth, I am very near the Superior Hiking Trail  which is nearly 300 miles of trail that snakes along Lake Superior's North Shore area. Much of it winds its way through Duluth itself.

I was walking the path, zoning out and just mindlessly following the path wherever it would lead me. The final destination was not the goal, but just the fact that I was journeying along the path. There would often be other trails that would intersect, places where the winter cross-country ski paths or snowmobile trails would cross the hiking path. At these junctions I would notice that there would be a little sign posted on a tree indicating the way the SHT continued. At some points, the woods would open up with a somewhat discernable path but have other areas people had walked or that seemed to look like trails to follow. At those moments I'd maybe slow down and look around and I'd see the blue paint mark on the tree that you can see in the photo above. Then I knew I was on the right path. But sometimes, I'd have to walk in what I felt like was the right direction and only after a little while, spy the blue indicator on the tree.

It dawned on me, that this is what the journey of following God is often like. We have a trail, there is a journey set before us and our omniscient, all-good God knows the best for us. And even when we are well intended and on the right path, we can question or feel a bit lost or disoriented. Sometimes the assurance and the direction doesn't come in that immediate moment when we feel we need it the most. Sometimes we put one foot in front of the other, using our best judgment and wisdom that we are still on that path, and seek above for that indicator that we are to keep heading in that direction. God's heart is not chaos and disorientation, but sometimes, he wants us to check in with our Guide to slow down and not just assume we've got everything under control.

This season has been building a foundation in mine and Roy's relationship of absolute abandonment and trust in the character and intentions of God. Even when the plan looks unclear, there is still something we can know with absolute certainty, and that is that our God is good, he loves us and he is never going to abandon us. We have decided to keep our intended wedding date not because it's absolutely certain that it will all work out, but we know we've sought wisdom, we have peace in our hearts and we know that no matter what happens...if Roy's feet are on US soil come Oct 26 or not, our God is still amazing, he is good and he knows the path ahead for us. We trust him, not our own plans and we will praise God on our wedding day no matter what it takes for it to come about.

Keep on the journey dear friends. Put that next foot forward even if you don't know where the one after that will land. Keep your eyes above for that blue marker, that sometimes small indication that yeah, God is here and the path is firm. And often, it's the moments of quietness and rest, not chaos and planning and preparing where our most amount of certainty and security will be found. 

Empathizing with Abraham

 

The book of Genesis has become one of my favorites. The characters are so, well, real. They lie, they doubt, they inflict violence on each other, they do crazy stuff that leaves us asking "and WHY are these the examples of faith laid out for us?" In other words, I identify with their humanity. 

Abraham has been an encouraging figure to me as of late. And not because of him being the "father of faith" or what not, but just because I feel like I have a small little taste of walking in his shoes. 

Today is my last day of my temp job. Yesterday I received my final support check after eleven years of having a consistent, faithful support network. Eleven years ago I never would have thought I would say this, but I've really appreciated raising my own support and it's brought so much freedom to my life (for a further explanation of why, please feel free to ask...though it's not the focus of this blog, so I'm continuing on....). And right now, with my season of support finishing, I find myself on uncertain ground. 

Not only am I jobless, I'm crashing in other peoples' homes. My fiance just finished his job today and moved out of his apartment yesterday to stay with his cousin until his visa goes through. And oh yeah, we are still waiting for Roy's visa in hopes that he can arrive in the USA by our intended wedding date. So, here we are, two people starting a future together with no jobs, no home to call their own, and no guarantee of when they will be together. There is no anchor point to hold on to at this point to say "this is my security." 

....apart from having faith that God will come through. 

And that's where we stand. There's a million and one reasons to doubt. I have sent out many, many job applications, interviewed and been denied a job opportunity over and over. It seems like a closed door. Roy and I have very little finances and yet we have to see him move internationally, have a wedding and find a place to live, furnish it and live in the day-to-day. And as of today, both of our paychecks finished. 

It's scary. And all around me the American world is screaming at me to get insurance, save up, find security, make sure my future is solid. My arms feel like they are being ripped off in two different directions. 

Abraham. Abraham packed up everything leaving security behind. I think many of us who have gone through transition look to him and sigh, knowing that someone, somewhere at some point in history has known how we feel. I also have been thinking about how God promised Abraham he'd be a father of many nations and yet it was decades before he saw the fulfillment of the promise. Delay and no change in circumstances can lead down a very direct road to doubt the validity of God's words, doubt his willingness to keep his promises, doubt the good will of his heart towards us. 

I'm going to be honest and say I've doubted a LOT in this journey. It's been a struggle of the will, the mind, the heart and emotions to look at God's word and say "yes, that is true. Yes, this is the character and nature of God that I know and believe in." But the story of Abraham keeps pulling me back to that point. Realizing he had to wait years to see God come through and Roy and I hopefully are banking on months. We are definitely in a place where if God doesn't move, we are really stuck. I guess that can be good because it means God is FULLY in control and we have no power in and of ourselves. 

But, I post this in the public forum not to whine but just to ask for prayers. We also need the fellowship and faith of others to help us stand and walk through each moment of this season. And I would ask that you would also pray that my faith would be strengthened, that I would not walk away from this season missing what God is showing me and missing seeing God for who he is in the midst of my small circumstances. For those of you coming to our wedding, know that when you arrive you also will be witnessing a true miracle as so many things will have had to have happened to see that day come to pass. We're excited to share it with you. 

that bratty child named "entitlement"

Worldview lays a foundation for all we say and do and think in life. It lingers underneath our feet, behind our brains, within our prayers, seeping out when we are not even aware of the leakages into all areas, saturating every inch of our being. It becomes glaringly obvious when we encounter a worldview so drastically different from our own. When I sit across from poverty-stricken mothers, holding wailing children with snot running down their faces, no shoes on their feet and hopelessness in their eyes, I am shocked to hear words escape their mouth that reveal that they believe the life they live is their fate. They cannot escape it, this is what the universe dealt them. They must just shuffle on. My inner American cringes and I speak "hope and life" in feeble attempts to shift their thinking. I get on my knees in prayer later sharing with God my heart that their worldview keeps them in bondage from really having a true relationship with a God who loves them, who calls them his children, who knit them together in their mother's womb, who has a hope and a future for them.

Some days I would love to believe that my whole worldview is entirely Biblical. I would love to think that I have stared at the black and white and red-letter pages so long that they have transformed every inch of my being into the way God thinks and out of me oozes the love and grace and mercy of God. I have days where I wish I was Jesus himself in the way I treat others. To be honest, I thank God for my experiences that have helped me critically evaluate my own western-oriented worldview and purge away the things that are not godly within me. And yeah, there's much that God has shifted in my life...he's gone hard after materialism in my life. He's showed me what hospitality and serving really is (I joke with people that the American version of hospitality is asking "Hey, do you want something to drink, water, soda, coffee? No, okay.") But let's face it, we are all  human, we are all soaked in our own worldview, biblical or unbiblical, that silently oozes out of us daily.

And I cannot be the one to cast the first stone. My worldview will often separate me from relationship with God when not aligned with his truth and his heart. Yesterday to my shame, I came face-to-face with my own inner bratty child.

Coming back to America from living in Asia for quite awhile, I find myself being more acutely aware of my surroundings. I stand in lines and I hear the conversations around me so clearly (try living without your native language for awhile and then coming back to it....it's like sensory overload!). I listen to women complain about how slow the cashier is being, "They should get more people on these registers. These lines are ridiculous," (said to the whole two people standing in front of her). Translation: "I don't deserve to have to wait this long." I listen to a teenage girl tell her mom, "But (brother's name) got that new video game. Why can't I get this CD? It's not fair," Translation: "I deserve to have just as much stuff as someone else does." Or one day hearing "Can you believe my husband didn't consult me about the color of our new car? Now I have to drive around with this ugly tan thing." Translation: "I deserve to have things exactly the way I want them."

Entitlement: That bratty child that rises up in us and screams out to the world "I deserve this! I want this! I have to have this! You have failed if you don't give it to me!"

And I've casually listened to these conversations sometimes laughing, and sometimes, to be honest, sneering and judging, sometimes saddened, all the time thinking of people I know that if given a tan "ugly" new SUV they'd weep and hug everyone in sight. I think to myself, "I hope I don't say things like that."

Then yesterday, my inner bratty child came out to have a tantrum. My day had been one frustration after another. I sent out yet another application, resume and cover letter. I looked at my budget and saw nothing but squeezing and cutting things out. I looked at my list of things "to do" for the wedding and grew a little bit angry that I may not be able to have what others have had. It was yet another day with no job prospects, no accomplishments, feeling useless, and disconnected. In a conversation the words "I'm just so mad at God right now" came out of my lips. Translation: "God owes me more than this. Look at what all I have given for him and this is how he treats me."

Ouch. Entitlement, you are an ugly beast.

So, now that that little child has thrown itself on the floor, screaming, flailing and kicking its legs, it's time to deal some discipline and love and care. The honesty is out there. The ugliness is not hidden. So, I come back to my Abba, sit on his lap, ask for forgiveness and lean in and trust him that his ways are the highest good. He says so, he is faithful, he never leaves or forsakes us. Smooth my rough edges and continue to burn away those things that are ugly within my soul.

Home.....!?

I've had a few people say to me recently "I bet it's so exciting to be going home after being gone so long"....the assumption being that I haven't been home for nearly eleven years now.

Where is home?

We know the old adage:
"Home is where your heart is"

......where is that exactly? My heart is in hundreds of pieces, scattered across the globe.

Afghanistan is home then. It's familiar Persian tones in extended greetings that make me feel like I've been embraced by something deep. The smell of cumin and coriander can send me into a spin of memories of dinners, huddled around the floor, scooping handfuls of rice into my mouth and sharing my life with people who have forever written themselves on my soul. Home is that place and that moment when you look in someone's eyes as they ask you a question about life and death, eternity, God, and you know what you say in response is the biggest gift you could ever offer them. My heart is all over that.

Taiwan is home. The bustling crowds and the faces of friends in the crowd who have lavished their generosity to welcome me. The students who open their homes and their lives and their hearts for this "big-nosed foreigner." Those moments when I get asked, why is it you are here and knowing I have a story that is only authored by our Creator and Redeemer in response to that question. Oh, my heart is there.

My heart is in the countless friends who have journeyed life with me whether for a short time or long, whether they have dropped in on my life and left or whether I am merely the one that finds them and visits for a short time before heading off to the next place. My heart is there. Home is scattered across the globe.

My heart is with Y....the values of this organization have become ones of my own life. I have been forever imprinted with walking out a faith in God that is not merely religion, rules, principles or guidelines. But have been trained and led and embraced a living breathing relationship with my God where he shares his heart with me and I share mine with him in a response of worship. He used this group all over the world, in all its strengths and weakness to show me what it is to be a disciple of Jesus, day-to-day, anywhere in the world he takes me.

My heart is in the tender embrace of the man to whom I will soon say "I do." My heart is waiting at the most stable, secure, comfortable and loved place, with a man who pursued and opened his heart to me and is willing to walk this crazy adventure of life with me until death do us part. My heart is waiting in India to come be with me and create home wherever our God may lead our feet.

Most of all, my heart rests with my God, anticipating in hope the fullness of eternity with him. My heart does not rest on earthly treasures no matter how much I anticipate shopping in America or gathering things to make a physical location a place to call home. My heart is at peace and rests in the culture of the Kingdom of God, and yet merely enjoys the new experiences of the cultures around the world.

I have no idea anymore where home is. I had no idea that as a kid, the place I thought was home would become something foreign, strange, even difficult sometimes to squeeze myself back into. My home doesn't have walls, that's for sure. It doesn't have a limit to how many people can fit inside. It doesn't have any storage for valuables or possessions.

But I have become a sojourner, and a sojourner I can see myself as until I am at home in eternity.

And honestly, I've needed this perspective and understanding as I head back to the place that once embodied the word "home" for me. But I have mixed emotions about it all. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I know I don't "fit" but I also know it's a part of who I am.

I was realizing yesterday that when I left "home" to begin this journey of nearly eleven years making my home all over the world, lots has changed. When I left home gas was $2.05 a gallon (I have no idea why I remember that) and people were freaking out. When I left, Facebook and Twitter didn't even exist yet. When I left, Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden were still alive. When I left, the ipod had only been released for one year and I purchased one thinking it was bit of an extravagant purchase heading into missions but it would help my packing process as I wouldn't have to take my whole CD collection. When I left you could still take two pieces of luggage weighing 70lbs apiece overseas, for free! When I left the economy all over the world was doing well. When I left I had a collection of small experiences and big dreams. When I left I was full of my self, my culture and my own understandings of the world. I hope I'm returning a little more "empty-handed"...a little less of me, a little less of my ethnocentrism, a little less of my understandings and expectations.

I step into the unknown this weekend, getting on a plane and traveling lots of miles, but really making the biggest journey from 11 years in a particular way of life and beginning a new life. Hopefully full of adventure and learning experiences and new friendships. And of course full of love and all that comes with the journey of knitting your life together in marriage with another person. And I know there are more adventures with God to come. I know though this chapter is closing in some way, there is a new one to begin and many, many more that will be written.

Immobilized by change

I don't quite know all the reasons why, but I'm feeling a lot like this little turtle lately. My life is in the process of turning upside down. In three weeks I leave Taiwan. I move from Asia, which I have called home for nearly the past eight years, and I move back to the United States. I leave the community and friendships and daily life that I've grown accustomed to. I leave my church. I leave my favorite tea shops. I leave the interaction and the buzz of constant life around me in this bustling city.

I return to a place where I have no home to call my own. I have no car. I have no job. I have a few boxes of possessions. I have my family to welcome me back. And I have friends I haven't seen in years who are now scattered all across the country doing their thing, living their lives. It's a place I am not quite sure how I will fit back in to. And I've changed. My way of living is different from most Americans. I feel a lot like a foreigner when I come to a place I'm supposed to call "home."

And the biggest change of all....I am planning a wedding and preparing for marriage. My fiance and I are knitting our hearts and our lives together across the miles and planning to weave them together in the years to come.

I normally am a woman who embraces change with arms wide open. I initiate change. I change things that are good because I get bored with them. I rearrange my room just for fun. I cut my hair. I take a different route. I mix up my routine to keep from getting in a rut.

But for some reason, I've been in this season of wanting to preserve everything exactly as it is. I don't want to start packing or giving stuff away because it means change is that much closer. I find myself retreating from people because I can't bear to say goodbye or talk about the fact that I will not be seeing them every day in three short weeks. I have stopped journaling and I just want to sit and soak in each moment, savoring it.....and yet holding it with a vice grip so that it will not slip away.

change. Sigh. It's coming. And it's coming like a freight train. This is a bittersweet change. I'm so excited for what's ahead. And yet it's sad to leave things that are so good behind.

It makes me realize what a beautiful truth it is when it says Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). There is something in my life that is so consistent, so trustworthy, constant, true and stable. Something I can stand on no matter where I'm at and what I'm going through. I anchor myself in Christ today. And when I'm standing firmly in that relationship, well, I guess I move forward with him into the unknown and face the adventure that lies ahead. 

New Years Around the World

Historically, I've had some great New Years.
God has blessed me to experience some incredible things in places all over the world.

In Afghanistan, I got to celebrate Persian New Year (Nao Roz). It happens on March 21 every year.

On the New Year in the courtyard of this mosque/shrine they raise a flagpole. It is said that the way the pole goes up will be indicative of the year to come...if they raise it with difficulty, the year will be difficult. If it goes up easily then the year will be a prosperous, good year. People gather by the thousands here because they also believe that God will grant healing to those that come on this day and visit the pole. In Perisan New Year, there is hope and an expectancy towards God. 

I have celebrated Chinese New Year in Taiwan the last three years. It happens according to the lunar calendar but usually falls the end of January/early February (one year it was even on my birthday!)

Last year my friend April (far Right in the photo above) invited me over to her family's home for Chinese New Year. Before we came over their family had offered the food to their ancestors and had done worship to receive blessings in the new year. We had dinner with them and enjoyed the fellowship with the family. The soup on the hot plate in the photo, translated into English has a meaning of "buddha jumps out of the wall" meaning Buddha would come from his position to eat this soup it is so good....and it was tasty. Another tradition is the giving of red envelopes with money in them. 

This year I got to experience Korean New Year visiting my friend and her family in Seoul, South Korea. They celebrate the new year on January 1 (though Korea also celebrates the Chinese New Year as well). 

For Koreans they consider you a year old when you are born, counting conception to birth as your first year of life. Then when the New Year comes, everyone turns a year older together. So, if you ever ask a Korean their age, you will see them hesitate figuring if they should give you their Korean age, or the age according to the system most of the rest of the world counts. But on New Years day there is a soup that you eat that after you eat it you are considered a year older then. This year I got to eat of that soup (so I officially reached my Korean age of 34!....I might stick with 32 for another month!) and I learned a traditional Korean game (pictured above) with my friend and her family. 

Another tradition I got to experience is when the generations of the family gather together, the younger generation kneels/bows to the older one in respect and then the older generation speaks blessings over the younger generation, and gives them an envelope of money. I thought it was a very meaningful tradition. 

Looking forward to 2013!

So as the year begins, I can't help but have excitement in my heart. I love new things, new experiences, new phases of life. This year is definitely a transitional one for me as I say goodbye to the wonderful nation of Taiwan and the incredible YWAM community I've gotten to be a part of here (in May...not quite yet). I'll be heading back to the USA for a season with my sights set on transitioning to India to work with Afghan refugees in the near future. 

And there are some great things ahead this year. There is more to share, but that will come at a later date. :) 

But one thing I can say is that I have lived a blessed life and can't believe all the places God has taken me and all the incredible people he has allowed to become part of my life. This girl from a small town in Minnesota truly has the world in her heart. I never would have imagined it was possible. I can't complain one bit about my life. God has been so good and he will continue to be good. 

I pray your transition into 2013 is also filled with gratefulness....even if it is filled with difficulty, pain, uncertainty. Remember, God is in it all and he grants us our seasons to draw us to him and to show us his glory in ways we may not have otherwise understood. 

Happy 2013!!!